A Shot in the Dark
by TdeAlba
Summary: John is found near death from an apparent self inflicted gunshot. But it's a soap opera, so you know it can not be that simple. Very Natalie heavy.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **Characters belong to ABC and I'm not getting any monetary gain from borrowing them.

* * *

It's one of those absurd thoughts that occur to you in times like this. Everything was moving so slow. It took him a few seconds to register what that cracking sound was and then he realized it must be his own skull. Who would have thought you could actually hear your skull cracking? He really had expected it to hurt a whole lot more. 

And all he could think as he fell to the ground was that he'd take a bullet to the head any day over losing her…

* * *

"Natalie?" It took her a moment to pull her way out of sleep far enough that she could figure out who she was talking to. 

"Uncle Bo?" she asked. She looked at the clock. 3:45. Weren't you supposed to make a wish when the numbers were all in order like that? AM or PM? It was dark. Had to be AM. Why was Bo calling before four in the morning? Something had to be wrong. "What's wrong?" she asked as soon as the thought came into her mind.

"I'm at the hospital," Bo sounded wide awake. And very serious. Of course he was serious, it was four in the morning and he was calling from the hospital. She shook her head as if it would make her thoughts less sluggish. "I think you need to come down here."

"Who is it?" she asked jumping out of bed and searching for clothes in the darkness. "Is it Mom?" No, it couldn't be her mother; her mother was in the house with her. If something had happened she would have heard the ambulance. She would have known before Bo.

Bo wasn't saying anything. "Who is it, Bo?" she demanded stepping into the pair of jeans she'd worn the day before. "Is it Jess? Dad? Rex? _Who is it_?"

He was silent for a moment longer. She thought at first he might have lost the connection and then he said softly. "I'll explain everything when you get here."

She hung up the phone wordlessly. And she knew. It wasn't anyone in the family. Her family at least was safe. But if it wasn't anyone in her family and Bo was calling her in the middle of the night it could only be one person. She closed her eyes and whispered a desperate prayer.

* * *

When she arrived at the hospital the first familiar face she saw was Michael's. One look at him erased any lingering doubts she might have had. It was definitely John. "Natalie!" he said rushing towards her and throwing his arms around her. She could hear the tears catching in his breath. He clung to her, crushing her so tightly it hurt, but she let him. Clearly he needed this. 

It was bad, she thought to herself. Michael didn't act like this; Michael was always there with a sly smile and sarcastic grin. She couldn't recall ever seeing him this broken up. If Michael was near tears that meant it was serious.

"Where is he?" she asked softly when she finally managed to pull back.

"He's still in surgery," Michael explained. So at least he was alive. She was relieved enough to draw in a deep breath—how long had she been holding her breath? Bo was standing beside her all of a sudden though she had no idea when he'd approached.

"What happened?" she asked looking between the two men.

Michael seemed to make an attempt to answer her but couldn't manage. Bo spoke up. "John was found down by the docks about an hour ago. GSW to the head."

To the head. She didn't have to have any medical knowledge to know how bad that was. "But he's alive?"

Bo nodded. "The bullet didn't actually penetrate the skull. He got lucky. But his skull is fractured and there's a lot of bleeding and swelling. They're in there now to try and relieve some of the pressure-"

"Is he going to make it?" she asked feeling a lump start to build in her throat.

"It's too soon to tell," Michael replied looking at the ceiling, the floor, anywhere but at her. He was trying desperately not to let the tears out.

"Do they know who did it?" she asked not sure why it mattered right now, but for some reason it seemed important.

And uneasy look passed between Michael and Bo. "What?" she asked.

Bo put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it lightly. Clearly he was worried about her reaction to whatever he had to tell her. "Honey," he said, "it appears to be self-inflicted."

For a moment she swayed as though she were going to faint, both Bo and Michael reached to catch her. "Natalie?" Bo called, "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she said more sharply than she meant to, "let's just worry about John, okay?"

Bo guided her over to a chair in the waiting area and Michael sat down beside her. "I have to make some phone calls. They'll let us know as soon as they know anything."

Natalie nodded mutely. After Bo walked away Michael said softly, "I didn't know whether to call you. I didn't know whether you'd come."

Natalie put an arm around his shoulder, "Michael of course I came. I would have been furious if they didn't call me."

"I just…" he struggled to speak without crying, "it sounds crazy with everything he's been through, but he always seemed so invincible somehow. I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready to lose him…"

She stroked his hair gently, letting his head rest on her shoulder. It was the only comfort she could provide. She wanted to badly to tell him he wouldn't lose his brother, that John was going to be okay, but she couldn't. Michael knew the medical details better than she did, if he was this worried there was reason to be. Finally she asked, "Michael, where's Marcie?"

"Out town for a book signing," he said, "I haven't called her. I didn't want to wake her up, I…" He took a deep breath trying to maintain some semblance of composure.

"She'd want you to wake her up," Natalie said moving them both so they could look at each other, "she'd want to be here for you."

"I know," he said squeezing his eyes shut, "but to call her I have to say it and I just don't think I can."

"I'll call her," Natalie said. She didn't ask; she just informed that she was going to do it and he didn't protest. "Does your mother know?" she asked.

He shook his head, "I wanted to wait until we knew something. Until he was out of surgery… I don't know how to tell her this."

"Do you want me to call her?" Natalie offered surprised at how calm she was able to keep her voice.

"No," he sighed, "she should hear it from me."

"If it's okay with you," Natalie said, "I'd like to call and see if I can get my grandfather's plane to go pick her up in AC. I know she'll want to get here as soon as she can and she shouldn't have to wait on the train."

"Thank you," Michael said with a slight smile, "I'm sure she'll be grateful. But you don't have to do that."

"Yes I do," she said grimly, "this is all my fault."


	2. Chapter 2

Michael looked at Natalie and shook his head. "Natalie, don't say that." 

"But it's true, Michael," she said, "if you'd heard half the things I've said to him over the last couple weeks-"

"John's had problems long before the last couple weeks," Michael assured her, "he's been messed up for a while now."

"And part of that's been because of me too," she insisted, "I mean there was all the stuff with Haver and Hayes and the fact that he's been torturing himself over this secret that he was only keeping because he wanted to protect me-"

"Okay, but before that there was Dad and Caitlyn and-"

"So it's not _all_ my fault," she conceded, "but I have a damn big share of it. I should have known he'd so something like this, I should have-"

"_You_ should have known?" he said with a hint of a bitter laugh, "Natalie, I'm his brother. Not to challenge the importance of your role in his life but I've known him a lot longer than you have. If anyone should have known it's me. In a way I did--I knew he was losing it I just never thought-"

"Neither did I," she said softly biting her lip.

Michael took her hands in his and looked seriously into her eyes. "Let's not do this," he said, "let's just concentrate on getting him through this. Once he's okay we can talk about-" He stopped suddenly as Dr. Miller approached them.

Michael stood up immediately. "How is he?" he asked as Natalie rose as well.

"He made it through surgery," Paige said, her voice neutral and clinical, "we have successfully relieved the pressure that was building up due to the swelling and at this point we think most of the hemorrhaging has stopped."

"Think?" Natalie asked softly as Bo joined them silently.

"As soon as he's stable we'll do a CT scan," she explained, "then we'll have a much better idea of how much, if any, damage we're looking at."

"Can I see him?" Michael asked.

She shook her head. "Not yet. I'll let you know when."

"Thank you," Bo said as she turned and walked back into the OR.

Michael sighed. "Well I guess I'd better call Mom."

"I'll make sure the plane is waiting for her at the airport," Natalie said, "Give me her number and I'll call her when I know where she needs to go to meet it."

As Michael hastily scribbled the number down for her she asked, "You still want me to call Marcie?"

"No," he said taking a deep breath, "I'll do it. I think I'm ready."

Natalie squeezed his hand and gave him as much of a smile as she could muster as they separated to make their phone calls away from the sensitive medical equipment.

As Natalie was hanging up the phone she heard someone call her name, and turned to see Rex approaching her. She let him draw her into a tight hug as he asked, "How are you holding up?"

"I'm okay," she said weakly, starting to get slightly annoyed that people seemed just as concerned over her ability to handle this as they were over John. "What are you doing here?"

"Bo called me," he explained, "I guess he figured you could use some company."

She nodded. "Thanks for coming. Michael's here he just went to make some calls. He… he's not taking it well."

"And how about you?" Rex asked leading her back to the couch in the waiting area.

"I don't know Rex," she said shaking her head and looking at her knees, "Is there a right way for me to be taking this? I break up with a guy and he tries to kill himself. He might still succeed—he's not out of the woods yet. And it's my fault Rex. I didn't want this to happen. I mean I was mad at him but I didn't want him dead." She whispered the last word as if saying it out loud would make it more of a reality.

"Hey," he said pulling her into another hug, "you can't blame yourself for this."

"I can't _not_ blame myself for this, Rex," she said her eyes filling with tears.

"Nattie," he said taking her by both shoulders and forcing her to look into his eyes, "I'm gonna tell you what no one else is gonna feel comfortable saying yet—this is his fault."

"Rex!" she hissed.

"Yeah, you broke up with him. You had a damn good reason. Besides, who _hasn't _been dumped. Most of us don't decide to kill ourselves over it," he said.

"He had a lot going on," she said.

"I know," he said, "and he decided to take the selfish route and do this rather than trying to do something about it."

His words felt like gravel scraping across her heart; how could he talk like that about a man who might be dying a few yards away? She couldn't even let herself consider whether there was truth to it. "Rex," she said holding up a hand, "I know you're trying to help. And some of what you're saying makes sense but I can't hear this right now. I can't listen to you talk that way about him when he might be-" The tears she'd been holding in while comforting Michael finally broke lose and started running down over her cheeks.

"Okay," he nodded, "just don't go beating up on yourself either, okay?" Rex hugged her tightly again, letting her cry on his shoulder until she was able to regain some degree of composure.

"Thanks for being here," she said wiping her eyes, "I know he's not exactly your favorite person."

"Well you were there for me with Jen," he pointed out, "and you two weren't exactly friends either."

A strange look crossed Natalie's face at the mention of Jen's murder but before she could speak Michael rejoined them. "Did you talk to Marcie?" she asked him as he sat down.

"Yeah," he said, "she was flying in today anyway but she's gonna see if she can get on an earlier flight. Thanks for arranging everything for Mom."

"It was no problem," she said.

Bo rejoined them as well, sitting down in a chair across from them. "Natalie," he said, "I talked to Gail and she said she can cover for you today so if you want to stay here or you want to go home and rest you don't have to worry about work."

"Thanks," she said.

He turned to Michael and said, "I just talked to Paige, she said that they're moving John to a room now. You should be able to see him soon."

"Good," he said, "you know I didn't even ask, Dr. Miller's an administrator now, how did she wind up on the surgical team?"

Bo shrugged, "I don't know, I didn't ask either. She just seemed to think it was an important case and she wanted to be there."

"Well I'm glad she was," Michael said softly.

_

* * *

He was cold. It seemed strange; weren't you supposed to see this warm glowing light at the end of the tunnel? For that matter where was the tunnel anyway? Unless he was headed the other direction, but then it should be really hot. What temperature was purgatory?_

_It occurred to him that maybe he wasn't dead. Now that was really strange. But it seemed to be the only possibility because he was fairly certain he was in a room. There were people here, voices. He didn't recognize any of them. He couldn't even understand what they were saying. At any rate they didn't seem to be talking to him. He tried to open his eyes and managed to get them cracked open just enough to see a bright light above him. He was fairly certain that one was electric rather than divine though. He couldn't speak. He couldn't move. _

_This was going to get old very fast. _

* * *

"Bo," Natalie said suddenly, "I thought you took his gun?" 

"I did," he nodded, "the one he used wasn't department issue. We aren't sure where he got it."

They were silent for a moment before Natalie spoke again. "So he… he fired against the side of his head?" Unconsciously she pantomimed the action.

"Yeah," Bo said, hoping she didn't ask him to elaborate further. She'd see John's injuries soon enough but he didn't think she needed to hear too many details about them for now.

"I don't want to be too morbid, but if you really want to kill yourself, isn't it more effective to fire into your mouth?" she asked staring hard at nothing as though she were trying to figure something out.

Everyone seemed unsettled by the question but Michael answered. "You'd have a much harder time surviving that. So thank God John didn't…" he trailed off, unable to complete the sentence and not wanting to dwell on the thought.

"Yeah," Natalie said thoughtfully before turning back to Bo. "John's a good shot, right?"

"One of the best I've seen," he replied.

"And he has experience firing a gun," she said as much to herself as to anyone else, "I mean even with a gun he wasn't used to he would know how it pulls and everything like that."

"Yeah," Bo said.

"What are you getting at Nattie?" Re asked.

Natalie looked around at the others. "Well it's just…Not that I'm complaining, but if John wanted to shoot himself, why isn't he dead?"

To be continued.


	3. Chapter 3

"He _was_ impaired at the time," Bo said, then catching Natalie's inquisitive look explained, "his blood alcohol level was extremely high and the toxicology report also showed high doses of a painkiller in his system. He probably wasn't even able to hold the gun steady much less fire with accuracy." 

"Yeah, plus the human skull is a lot harder to penetrate than you'd think," Michael added, "For once my brother's thick skull came in handy."

Natalie nodded as she processed this information then asked, "Wait a minute you said painkillers? Where did he get painkillers?"

"From me," Michael said softly, "for the leg injury from Statesville. He said he didn't want them but I insisted. God I'm an idiot. I should have-"

"Hey," Natalie said swatting him on the upper arm, "if I don't get to blame myself neither do you."

"I don't think assigning blame is very helpful in cases like this anyway," Bo interjected. He looked as though he was about to say something else but his phone rang and he excused himself to take the call.

"Michael," Natalie said watching Bo walk away, "does this make sense to you?"

Michael looked at her for a moment as though she'd grown another head, "My brother just tried to kill himself, Natalie, I don't expect anything to make sense right now."

"That's just it," she said, "I don't think-" She stopped herself seeing Dr. Miller approach and held her breath, hoping that the doctor wasn't bringing bad news.

But Paige smiled and looking at Michael said, "You can see him now."

"Thank you," Michael said letting out a deep sigh--apparently he'd been holding his breath as well.

She turned a sympathetic gaze to Natalie and added, "Immediate family only at the moment. But you should be able to see him before too long."

"I understand," Natalie said as Michael stood and followed Paige around the corner.

"I know exactly what your thinking, Nattie," Rex said when he figured Michael was out of earshot.

"Rex it just doesn't add up," she said.

"It's a natural reaction," he said.

"What?" Natalie asked shaking her head, not understanding his question.

"When someone you care about kills themselves, or tries to, I think it's a natural reaction to deny that it happened," he said, a patronizing tone sneaking into his voice. "And one of the easiest ways to do that is to come up with some conspiracy story where someone else is to blame."

Natalie stared at her brother in shock. "I can't believe I'm hearing this from you, of all people. Rex, when Jen was murdered everyone just assumed it was a suicide, but you knew better and you were right."

"That was different," Rex said.

"How?" she asked folding her arms defensively.

"Well… for starters Jen wasn't crazy," Rex said.

"John's not crazy!" Natalie said starting to raise her voice.

"Okay, keep it down, we're in a hospital," Rex said catching the dirty looks the nurse was giving him. "Maybe crazy was the wrong word. But you have to admit he's been exhibiting some unhealthy, self-destructive behavior."

"Who hasn't?" Natalie spat back, "but that's a long way from killing yourself."

Rex sighed, knowing that his next statement was only going to provoke further wrath from his sister but he felt he needed to say it. "I think there's another possibility you need to consider."

"What's that?" she asked trepidation evident in her voice.

"Maybe this was just a cry for help. Maybe he didn't try to kill himself, maybe he just wanted you all to _think_ that he tried to kill himself," he said, cringing slightly, fully expecting to get slapped for the insinuation.

To his surprise Natalie actually thought over this possibility before shaking her head and saying, "No."

"You're sure?"

She rolled her eyes. "Staging it so that it looked like he wanted to kill himself just so he could get us all upset? Okay, that's something _you_ would do, and that's maybe even something _I _would do, but not John. He's got too much of a martyr complex for that."

After considering her point he nodded. "Actually, you're right about that."

_

* * *

He'd finally given up and just let himself drift; that seemed to be the only thing he was capable of anyhow. But suddenly something very distant roused his consciousness slightly. Michael was here. "Here" didn't feel like the right word to use, because Michael seemed so far away, but somehow he knew that he was actually close. Close enough to touch. Not that he was capable of touching anyone._

_Michael was mad. What had he done to piss of Michael now? He tried to think. Maybe it was just old stuff; maybe Michael was holding grudges. Maybe Michael was just as frustrated as he was over his present condition. _

* * *

Medical knowledge was only but so helpful when it was a family member in that bed, hooked up to all those machines. He'd never expected to see John this way. He had every reason to expect it; John had been shot before, he'd been injured countless times, he certainly lived surrounded by enough danger. But as he entered the room and saw John lying there Michael realized how totally unprepared he was for this. 

He sat down in the chair beside the bed for a moment before jumping up and pacing a little. "What the hell were you thinking, Johnny?" he finally asked. He turned and looked at his brother as though he were capable of responding. "I mean you've done some dumb things in the past but this…"

Another look at John, at that bandage, at the monitors, softened his attitude. "Mom's on her way," he said. "Natalie sent Asa's plane to go pick her up. Yeah, that's right, Natalie's here too. Waiting on your sorry ass to wake up, though I can't for the life of me figure out why after everything you did to her. So you better wake up, okay? For her, for Mom… they don't deserve to have to go through this."

* * *

"Okay," Rex said, "so you're thinking this is a set up. Why?" 

"For starters," she said, "I don't care how impaired you are your own head is a pretty hard target to miss especially for someone experienced with a gun."

"That much makes sense," he nodded.

"And then there's the part about him being impaired in the first place. I mean, drunk I can believe, but the painkillers?"

"Haven't you ever wanted to feel numb?" he asked.

"All the time, but we're not talking about me. This is John McBain, Mr. McMacho, Mr. McMartyr. It just doesn't seem like him to me. And why was he down by the docks? That seems strange."

"He wanted to be alone," Rex argued, "most suicides do."

"How did he get there if he was that impaired?" she asked.

"If he was thinking irrationally enough to kill himself you think he stopped to think, 'Oh I shouldn't drive--I've been drinking'?"

"Again," she said, "we're not talking about a normal human being, we're talking about John. I'm telling you he'd never drive drunk, it's something he feels very strongly about."

Rex gave her a sideways glance, "If you're planning on using the argument that you think he was crazy enough to kill himself but not enough to drive under the influence you might have a hard time convincing people. Besides, maybe he got drunk there."

"Was there evidence of that at the scene?" she asked, "Empty bottles or anything like that?"

"I don't know," he shrugged, "I wasn't there."

"I need to find out," she said softly to herself.

"Fine," Rex said, "you can talk to Bo about this. He can probably answer all of your questions better than I can anyway."

"Bo won't talk to me about crime scenes," she said dismissively.

"Right," he said, "you know why? Because you're not a cop. That's his job not yours."

Natalie gaped at him. "Who am I talking to? You're not a cop either, that's never stopped you!"

"That's different," he said.

"How?"

"Because when you try to get involved, inevitably you wind up getting shot at and I wind up getting yelled at."

"That was one time!" she protested.

"Bo will do a good job of handling this, Nattie," he said firmly, "let him."

She was about to protest further when she heard a woman's voice say her name. She looked up to see Eve McBain hurrying towards her. Natalie rose to meet her and the older woman clasped both her hands tightly. "Natalie, how is he?" she asked breathlessly.

"They're not really saying much," she said, "he's out of surgery and I guess he's stable because they just took Michael back to see him."

Eve nodded, "Where is he?"

"I don't know exactly," she said looking around. "He went- Dr. Truman!" she called to the doctor who was passing by.

Spenser Truman stopped immediately and turned, flashing Natalie and Eve his genial smile, "Ms. Vega, how can I help you?"

"Um… it's Buchanan," Natalie corrected him. She still got flustered every time she had to explain to someone that she was no longer the grieving widow but rather the irritated divorcee.

"Of course," he said, his smile never wavering.

Natalie motioned towards Eve, "This is John McBain's mother."

"Dr. Spenser Truman," he said reaching for her hand, "I'm one of the surgeons who worked on your son."

"How is he?" she asked anxiously.

Spenser sighed letting his smile transform into a look of patronizing sympathy, "Well he's stable, but his condition is still very precarious. It's too soon for us to really know the full extent of the damage."

"Can I see him?" she asked.

He nodded, "Come with me."

As they disappeared Natalie sank down next to Rex once more. Still looking in the direction John's mother had walked she said, "Whatever happened, I have to know. I have to make sure that this is what everyone's saying it is and if it's not..."

Rex sighed. He wasn't going to be able to talk Natalie out of this completely, but if he could keep her here and talking he could perhaps keep her from doing anything reckless at the very least. "Okay, so you've told me why you're suspicious, but do you have any suspects?"

"Suspects?"

"Well if your idea is that he didn't try to kill himself then that means someone tried to kill him and make it look like a suicide. So who?"

"I don't know," she said, "I mean he's a cop he's made a lot of enemies."

"McBain's made more enemies than the average cop," Rex pointed out, "but who would do this. It's one thing to try to kill someone, but trying to make it look like a suicide is different. It makes it a little more personal, doesn't it?"

"Well maybe they were just trying to cover their tracks," she suggested, "what better way to avoid getting caught yourself than for the police to think there hasn't even been a murder."

"And with the way McBain's been acting lately, people would believe it," he said.

"But that means whoever it is knows enough about what's going on in his life to know that," Natalie said already trying to run through possibilities in her mind.

"It still seems to me like someone went through a lot of trouble," he said thinking through the few facts he knew about the case, "if they were just trying to cover their tracks there had to be easier ways to do it. Ways that would be quicker which would have minimized their chances of getting caught. I mean he was right by the river, why didn't they just dump him in. It could have been weeks before anyone found him."

The image of John's decomposing body being dragged out of the river like Margaret Cochran's hit Natalie with a sudden wave of nausea. She squeezed her eyes shut and gripped the side of the couch.

"Nattie?" Rex asked putting a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm okay," she said, "it's just thinking about John…"

"Sorry," he said, "I shouldn't have run off at the mouth."

"You make a good point though," she said quickly regaining her composure, "someone went through a lot of trouble to do this. We need to figure out-"

Rex cut her off by clearing his throat suddenly and a second later Michael sat down across from them. "How is he?" Natalie asked as Michael buried his head in his hands.

"Comatose," Michael said, "with a hole in his head."

"But he's-"

"He's stable so far," Michael sighed, "Mom's with him now. She's a wreck she-" Michael stopped and looked at the siblings across from him. "So I'm gathering you don't think he did this."

"No," Natalie said, "what do you think?"

"I don't know," Michael said softly, "but I know I need the truth. So what do you have so far?"

"Not much," she said, "mostly just a gut feeling that he wouldn't do this and if he did this isn't how he would do it."

"Which I would agree with," he said, "but it could just be denial."

"You're right," she said, "we need to do some research. Find out how he got down to the docks, if anyone saw him there, if there was evidence that he was drinking there or-"

Natalie saw Michael tense suddenly and give her an uneasy look and at the same time Rex gripped her upper arm as if to keep her from standing. She looked at him in confusion for a moment and then followed his gaze and Michael's to see Evangeline Williamson standing a few feet away looking down at her.

To be continued.

**Author's note: **There's one line in this which owes its inspiration to actress Amanda Tapping.


	4. Chapter 4

If she hadn't been so worried about John, Natalie could have laughed at the guys' ominous reaction to Evangeline's arrival. Evidently they didn't expect her to take it well, but they were overreacting. True, Evangeline was probably one of the last people she wanted to see at the moment, but she wasn't about to cause a scene while John was down the hall fighting for his life. She gave Evangeline a look of acknowledgement—well truth be told it might have been a glare of acknowledgement—and looked back at her knees. Evangeline turned to Michael, "I just heard. How is he?" 

"He's stable," he said, "for now. Mom's with him. They're gonna do a CT in a little bit, we'll know more then."

She sat down in the empty space beside Rex on the couch. "I knew he was in bad shape," she said, "especially after what happened in the church and his suspension… but I didn't think-"

"No one did," Michael said with a sideways glace at Natalie to see if she was going to voice her suspicions. She didn't.

"I was worried something like this would happen," Evangeline continued, "I tried to help but he just wouldn't let me in. I just kept hoping someone would get through to him." Maybe it was paranoia brought on by their strained relationship but Natalie thought she caught Evangeline giving her a significant look and wondered if she was blaming her. Anger surged inside her for a moment until she remembered she'd blamed herself at first too. She could hardly blame someone for thoughts she'd had herself.

They sat in tense silence for a moment until Rex jumped up suddenly and took Natalie by the hand saying, "Hey, why don't we go down to the cafeteria and get a cup of coffee?"

"No thanks," she said pulling her hand back, "I'm good."

"Well come keep me out of trouble," he urged.

Natalie looked at him and then at the uneasy expression Michael was still wearing and then at Evangeline who seemed to realize what was going on at the same moment she did. "Rex," Natalie sighed, "if you're worried there's a cat fight about to break out, don't be."

"What?" Rex asked with poorly feigned innocence.

"Seriously Rex," she said, "I don't have the energy for it anyway and I think Evangeline and I probably have our minds on other things."

"I would concur with that assessment," Evangeline nodded.

Rex looked uncertainly at the two women. "Okay," he said sitting back down between them.

Natalie quietly tried to work through her suspicions, not feeling comfortable voicing them aloud in front of Evangeline. It wasn't because of her particular problems with Evangeline she just thought if something was going on it was better to have as few people involved as possible. Rummaging in her coat pocket she found a pen and an old gas receipt which she started scribbling notes on. She made a list of the aspects of the case which didn't make sense and then another of information she needed to gather. Peering over her shoulder Rex said in her ear in a voice that was not quite a whisper, "You should talk to Bo about this."

"I will," she said still writing.

"Talk to Bo about what?" Evangeline asked, "Is it something about John?"

"It's a family thing," Natalie mumbled.

"You should talk to him soon," he said, "he can tell you the rest of the story and you can tell him what you're thinking before… you know in case they need to look for something."

"Maybe you're right," Natalie said, "Do you know where he is?"

Rex pointed down the hallway, "He went that way last I saw."

She stood up and Rex followed her down the hall a little ways before they found Bo talking closely to Paige in a low voice. They separated seeing Rex and Natalie approach.

"Any word on John?" Bo asked.

"His mom's in with him," Natalie said, "they haven't said much."

"I know you're tired of hearing this," Paige said, "but it really is too soon to know."

"Um… Dr. Miller," Rex said, "I need to talk to you about something."

Paige seemed to understand what he was talking about even if Natalie didn't. She nodded. "Let's step into my office."

As she led Rex away Natalie toyed anxiously with her necklace, unsure of how to broach the subject of her suspicions with Bo. "Did you need something?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said, "I um… it's just… doesn't something about this whole thing with John seem off?"

"A lot of things seem off, Natalie," he said furrowing his brow, "what exactly are you talking about?"

"Isn't it possible someone set this up?" she asked, "Made it look like John tried to kill himself but-"

"It's possible," Bo nodded before she could say more, "and we'll look into that possibility, I promise you. But right now it doesn't look that way."

Something about the way he said this gave Natalie the impression he knew something she didn't. "What do you mean?" she asked feeling her heart start to race again.

He hesitated; she knew he was probably debating whether to tell her this or not, either because it was part of an investigation or because he was worried about her reaction or both. Finally he said, "We found a letter in his office."

"A suicide note?" she asked, trying to stay calm, not wanting to believe.

"Not exactly," he said, "it was a letter addressed to his successor."

"Well are you sure he wrote it?" she asked, "I mean anybody could have gotten in there and-"

"We're having it analyzed," he assured her, "but at this point I think it's genuine. It sounds like him. Plus it was definitely written by someone who knew the inner workings of the department pretty well."

She tried to process this information but it didn't shake her suspicions in the slightest. "So he wrote a letter to his successor, that's not the same as a suicide note. I mean, Uncle Bo, he was suspended. He had every reason to think he wasn't getting his job back maybe he just-"

"Natalie," Bo said sounding gentle but firm, "the tone of the letter… it doesn't sound like a man who's worried about being fired."

"Can I see it?" she asked.

"No," he said quickly.

"But-" she started to protest.

He put a hand on both of her shoulders, "Natalie, I care about John too, and I don't want to believe this. I promise you we're going to look into this thoroughly, but you can't just ignore evidence because it tells you something you don't want to hear. And you have to let the police do our jobs, okay?"

"I know," she said, "I just-"

"I'll keep you posted, okay?" he promised as he released her shoulders, "I'm gonna head down to the station now. Let me know when he wakes up."

"I will," Natalie nodded trying not to let her eyes fill with tears again. The letter proved nothing, she told herself. Of course, if she could read it she would have an easier time figuring out what it _did _mean.

As she was pondering how she could make that happen she heard a man's voice behind her say, "Ms. Buchanan?" She whirled around to see Dr. Crosby approaching her, a look of concern on his face.

"Dr. Crosby?" she asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I just heard about Lieutenant McBain," he said, "how is he?"

"Too soon to tell," she said trying to sound collected, putting her hands on her hips.

He sighed. "I kept thinking we were close to a breakthrough," he said. "I hoped that this suspension would be the wake up call he needed but I guess it just pushed him in the other direction."

"Looks that way," Natalie said coldly. She was becoming increasingly impatient with everyone discussing John's problems as though they were entirely self-inflicted and the attitude that his current condition was somehow inevitable.

"I know you were close to him, how are you dealing with this?" he asked.

She blinked at him. "I'm grateful for your concern Dr. Crosby, but I'm not one of your patients."

"I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't mean to sound-"

"Look," she said holding up her hand, "I really do believe that you wanted to help John. And probably you still do. If for no other reason than because you violated some ethical standards for your profession and could be at risk for a lawsuit."

"Excuse me?" he asked sounding genuinely surprised.

"Luring me to your office under false pretenses so you could pump me for information on another patient," she said her eyes flashing with anger, "I come from a family full of crazy people Dr. Crosby, I know better than to believe that's an acceptable practice."

Her anger softened quite a bit seeing the look of remorse that came over his face. "Natalie, I-"

"I know," she said, "I know you were trying to help him and thank you for that, but I really don't think you should be here right now."

"Okay," he said softly, "please call me if-"

"I will," she said setting her jaw firmly and watching him slink down the hallway.

"I bet that felt good," a voice she recognized as Michael's said behind her. As she turned to face him he added, "I wish I had someone to chew out right now."

"Sorry," she said, "I didn't mean to cause a scene."

He shrugged, "You didn't make much of one. Besides you managed to sit on the same couch with Evangeline and be civil, so I guess you're entitled to blow up about something else."

"Any change?" she asked tucking her hair behind her ears.

"Actually, yeah," he said, "they said he can have visitors. You know, other than family. We thought you should be the first one."

"Thank you," she said softly as she started to move towards John's room.

Michael stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. "Before you go in you need to prepare yourself."

"For what?" she asked anxiously.

"My brother's not his usual good looking self," he said with a hint of forced smile. "There's a lot of bandages and some of them are pretty bloody, but it's not as bad as they look, okay?"

"Okay," she nodded.

"And there's a lot of machines and a lot of wires and… it's not easy seeing someone you love that way," he continued.

Natalie bit her lower lip. "I do love him," she said with a slight crack to her voice, "I've been going around talking about how much I hate him and-"

"Okay first of all Natalie," he said, "I don't think you've been fooling anyone. And second of all, it is possible to hate someone and still love them. Particularly if they've done something like what Johnny did."

"But it all seems so trivial now," she said. "Thinking I could lose him for real-"

"You're not going to," Michael assured her, "and hey, if anyone can give him something to live for it's you."

"Thank you," she said again dabbing the corners of her eyes.

_

* * *

He must be dreaming. That was the only explanation. Because Natalie was here and she didn't hate him. Natalie was here and she actually wanted to talk to him. There was no way that could be possible. _

_But he couldn't help losing himself in the dream a little bit. Natalie was here and she still cared. There was something he had to tell her. Something important but he just couldn't convince his mouth to move. _

* * *

Natalie was grateful for Michael's warning, even if nothing was quite adequate to prepare her for seeing John this way. Most of the hair had been shaved from the right side of his head to give the doctors greater visibility and reduce the risk of infection and his head was wrapped in heavy gauze which was stained on the right with purplish-red. He looked pale—almost grey. Wires and I.V.'s ran from his body to monitors and bags of liquid. 

As horrific as it was to see him like this though, part of her heart leapt at her first visual confirmation that he was alive.

She sat down uneasily beside him, lightly toying with the hand closest to her, afraid to grasp it completely. "Hey there," she said tenderly before saying in a more emphatic voice, "however you got yourself into this mess you are lucky you're in this hospital bed 'cause I could kick your ass for scaring us all like this. But the game's over now so it's time to come back to us."

She thought for a moment that his fingers squeezed hers back, but told herself it was probably an involuntary muscle spasm. Nothing to get too excited about. "John," she continued, "when I was in that pit you kept me going. And when they brought me in here you were the one that called me out of the darkness. So if any of our connection is still there—and I think it still is, I'd like to return the favor. I'd really appreciate it if you came back to us right now. Come back to me. Because I still love you, John. I love you so much…"

Maybe it was her imagination, maybe she was just seeing what she wanted to see, but she swore she saw his lips move. Maybe that was just a muscle spasm too. But only if muscle spasms worked on vocal chords because the next time his lips moved there was a sound. "Me too," she could have sworn he murmured his eyes still shut.

"John?" she asked squeezing his hand, "John, are you awake? Did you just-"

But the next moment there was another sound—a high pitched whine in her left ear from one of the monitors and John's body went rigid for a second before he began convulsing. "John?" she called again with growing urgency as hospital staff rushed into the room and started shouting commands at each other that she couldn't understand. "John!" she screamed as someone pushed her backwards out of the room. She thought she said his name at least once more as someone caught her from behind and prevented her from rushing back into the room as she watched the doctors working frantically on John.

To be continued.


	5. Chapter 5

Natalie struggled against the hands that held her calling John's name. A voice in her ear said, "Natalie, you're just going to be in the way in there." 

She turned her head and realized that the person holding her was Michael. She relaxed slightly—she could trust Michael, he wanted John to get better as much as she did. And he understood what was going on better than she did. If he could be calm…

"Michael, what's happening?" she asked.

He didn't answer and she realized that what she'd interpreted as calm a moment ago was only an exterior masking fear and concern. She turned back and watched the doctors working, murmuring a prayer that they could save him.

Finally the high pitched whine in the room changed into a steady beeping and she felt Michael relax behind her as he let out a breath. That must mean good news. She turned to face him. "What happened?" she demanded.

"His heart stopped," Michael said without taking his eyes off his brother, "but they restarted it."

"I don't understand," she said trying not to cry. "You said he was stable. He woke up, he-"

Michael looked past her to a doctor who was coming out of the room. "Greg," he said, "what happened?"

The doctor shook his head. "He arrested. Not sure why but he appears to have stabilized again. We're gonna run a CT—check for bleeds, run some labs. I'll let you know as soon as we know anything."

"Can I go back in?" Natalie asked.

He shook his head. "No more visitors for now. Sorry."

As she watched him walk away in dismay Michael tugged her by the arm back to the waiting area. Marcie had apparently just arrived and was talking rapidly to Mrs. McBain. When she saw Michael, however, she ran over and threw her arm around him saying, "Oh my God, Michael!"

Michael hugged her back tightly, his eyes closed for a long moment. "How is he?" she asked as they finally separated.

Michael hesitated and Eve recognizing something in his face tensed as she asked, "What happened?"

"He's okay," Michael said to calm her before explaining, "his heart stopped but they were able to revive him."

"My God!" Eve whispered putting her hand over her own heart as Natalie sat down in one of the chairs across from her.

"It doesn't make any sense," Natalie insisted her voice cracking, "he woke up. He talked to me."

"Head injuries are tricky," Michael said as he and Marcie sat beside his mother. "Sometimes they're hard to predict."

"Natalie said he woke up though," Marcie said, "is that a good sign?"

"Maybe," Michael said pensively, "it's really hard to say."

Eve looked at Natalie suddenly. "You said he spoke to you. What did he say?"

"He said…" Natalie paused, she wasn't completely sure of what she'd heard, "it sounded like… I don't know, maybe I was just hearing what I wanted to but it… it sounded like he said, 'me too'."

"Me too?" Marcie asked, "I don't get it—what does that mean?"

Natalie sighed, slightly embarrassed. "It… I had just told him that I loved him and-"

To everyone's shock and bewilderment Michael snorted as though holding back a laugh.

"Michael!" Marcie reproached him.

"What?" Natalie asked him.

"Never mind," Michael said shaking his head but still fighting a laugh. Noticing everyone's continued looks of curiosity he added, "It's _really_ inappropriate."

"Well you can't just leave it at that," Natalie pressed, "What is it?"

Michael shook his head again.

"Come on Michael," Eve pressed, "I think we could all use a laugh right now—appropriate or not."

"It's just-" Michael had to take a deep breath to speak through his laughter. He looked at Natalie and said, "I mean the two of you are just… Everyone knows how you feel about each other, right? With the possible exception of the two of you. And the last couple months, you know, he's just been giving you those tortured looks from across the room and trying to give you your space and all I've been thinking is 'Damn, Johnny, would it _kill_ you to tell the girl how you feel?'"

Eve smiled and Marcie laughed out loud. Through the tears in her eyes even Natalie laughed softly. "I guess it just about did," she said.

"And speaking of lighter matters," Eve said slyly, "Michael, were you going to tell me about that rock on Marcie's finger?"

Marcie blushed and tried to hide her hand as if everyone hadn't already seen the diamond ring she was wearing. Michael laughed nervously, "Oh that."

"Mm hm," his mother said trying to sound very stern.

"We were going to tell you," Michael explained, "when Marcie got back from the book signing we were going to go up to AC and tell you in person, but then…"

"Well I'm very happy for you," she said kissing her son on the cheek before standing up halfway so she could reach around and hug Marcie.

"Congratulations," Natalie said managing a smile, trying to be happy for Michael and Marcie and not think about the mess her love life had always been.

Rex returned at that moment and looked at their smiling faces curiously, "What's going on? Did you get to see him?"

Natalie nodded sadly, "Yeah, for a minute. He actually woke up and talked to me for about half a second before he flat lined."

Rex looked at her in shock, "But he's not-"

She shook her head as he sat down beside her, "No, they got him stabilized again but we don't know what happened…" She trailed off seeing the doctor who had run the code on John approach with a grim expression on his face.

Michael noticed him too and straightened up. "Hey Mike, can I see you for a second?" the other doctor asked.

"Yeah," Michael said standing up and following him a short distance away. Natalie watched them closely trying to figure out what the doctor was telling Michael, but Rex distracted her.

"So'd you talk to Bo?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said.

"What'd he say?"

She looked at him hesitantly not wanting to say much in front of Marcie and Mrs. McBain. "He said to let the police do their jobs," she said, her voice betraying how unsatisfied with that answer she was.

"Good advice," Rex said, receiving a glare in response from his sister.

"Let the police do their jobs in regards to what?" Eve asked.

As Natalie searched her mind frantically for an excuse—she wasn't quite ready to tell John's mother that someone had tried to kill her son. Especially when she had no idea who.

Fortunately, Rex jumped in to get her off the hook. "Hey, where'd Evangeline go anyway?"

Eve smiled tautly. "She left. I promised to let her know if there was any change. I didn't think John would want a big crowd here at the hospital."

Natalie tried not to look too relieved by this piece of information. As much as she could logically acknowledge that Evangeline had every right to be there and really was concerned about John, she just really didn't want to deal with her at the moment.

Michael walked back over to the group a stunned expression on his face. "Michael?" his mother asked her voice thick with concern, "What is it? Is it John? Is something wrong?"

"No," Michael said, "no it was something about a patient of mine from yesterday." Michael cast a meaningful look at Natalie and asked, "Hey, you up for that coffee run yet?"

Grasping his meaning immediately Natalie stood and said, "Yeah, I better. Otherwise I'm gonna go into caffeine withdrawal and it won't be pleasant for the rest of you."

"Can I get anything for anyone else?" Michael offered.

"I'll come with you," Marcie volunteered starting to stand up, but Michael waved her back down with his hand.

"No you stay here, I know what you drink," he said, "Mom?"

"I'm fine," she said eyeing him suspiciously. She knew he was up to something but didn't want to press the issue yet.

When Natalie and Michael were a safe distance away she asked, "What did he say?"

Michael stopped and turned to her. "I think you were right. I don't think John did this to himself."

"What brought this on?" she asked.

Michael leaned forward and said quietly, "I know what sent him into cardiac arrest."

To be continued.


	6. Chapter 6

"What?" Natalie asked eagerly. 

"He was given the wrong medication. One that had a potentially fatal interaction with one he'd already been given."

Natalie looked at him trying to figure out the train of thought his mind was on. "You think that was deliberate?"

"I don't know," Michael said pensively, "I mean I work here. I know mistakes happen, it's the sad truth, but something just doesn't feel right about this. I mean Dr. Miller's an administrator she's not even supposed to be treating patients and I can't believe she-"

"Wait," said Rex inserting himself between the two of them, "not that I was listening in or anything but what time did John get this medication?"

"The order was marked at like 9:21," Michael said.

"I was talking to Dr. Miller then. She wasn't writing any orders," Rex said.

"See," Michael said, "it just doesn't make any sense."

"So what are you saying?" Natalie asked, "That the order was forged?"

"I don't know," Michael said, beginning to sound frustrated, "I can't think who here even _knows_ John much less wants him dead."

"Well maybe whoever did this isn't the one who wants him dead," Rex suggested, "Could be someone here was paid off or coerced."

"Which means it could be anyone," Natalie sighed.

"Well who wants McBain dead?" Rex asked. "Can't be that many people."

Natalie turned to Michael, "What's he been doing since the suspension?"

"I don't know," he said with a shake of his head, "he hasn't really wanted to talk to me."

"Me neither, "she said pursing her lips in thought. "I'm going over to his place. Maybe there's something there that will-"

"Wait-wait-wait!" Rex said, "That's exactly the kind of thing you should leave for the police."

Natalie gave him an irritated look. "I talked to Uncle Bo. He's convinced John did this to himself. Besides, the cops won't know if something's out of place."

"No offense," Michael interjected, "but you might not either. Place is kind of gone downhill since you were staying there."

"Okay," she nodded, "so you'll come with me. You might notice something I'll miss."

"I don't know, Natalie," he said uneasily.

"Michael, someone is trying to kill him," she said in a fierce whisper, "If we don't find out who it is soon they might just succeed. I'm heading over there—you can come or you can stay. It's up to you."

"Okay," he said still sounding reluctant, "I'm in."

"And I guess I'll come along for adult supervision," Rex said with a sigh.

"No," Natalie said, "I need you to stay here and keep an eye on things. Make sure whoever this is doesn't try again."

"All right," he said, "but be careful."

"Always," Natalie said with an attempt at a reassuring smile.

"I'll see if I can find out anything around here while I'm at it," he said.

"Hey," Michael said, "would you tell my mom and Marcie that I left for a little bit. Don't tell them why though."

"If you want to go say goodbye to Marcie-" Natalie offered but Michael held up his hand.

"Bad idea. Mom'll start asking questions and I can't ever lie to her so she'll figure out something's up."

"Okay then," she said, "you ready?"

* * *

Though she wasn't quite surprised by the chaotic state of John's room, there was something about it which hit her hard. He had always been so precise, so orderly with this kind of thing that to see clothes and trash strewn on the floor made her pity him in a way she wouldn't have thought possible a few days ago. 

"What are we looking for anyway?" Michael asked as they stepped inside.

"I don't know exactly," she said, "something that looks out of place… I mean beyond the obvious. Anything showing who he might have been in contact with. Something that proves he didn't do this to himself."

Gingerly they each began picking their way through the room. "Oh," Natalie said suddenly reaching into her purse, "before you touch anything…" She tossed him a pair of latex gloves.

Michael gave her a bewildered look as she put a pair on herself. "You carry these in your purse?"

"No," she said as though the suggestion was crazy, "I lifted them from the hospital on the way out."

"I didn't see that," he said.

She shrugged as she began opening drawers on the dresser, "I was raised by Roxy. There were skills I had to learn."

As Michael disappeared into the bathroom she began rummaging through the dresser. The first two drawers seemed normal, but in the third, under a pile of unmatched black socks, she found three tattered, old Fed-Ex envelopes. Pulling them out and standing them up right like folders in a filing cabinet she took the one from the bottom and carefully slid the contents onto the dresser top.

It was an assortment of photos, ticket stubs, newspaper clippings and other souvenirs. Things she'd seen once before, though it seemed the collection was somewhat smaller than before. Natalie stared at John's collection of Caitlyn memorabilia with a peculiar sinking feeling. He'd put her away, as she had once asked him to, but he had kept her close.

Telling herself that this at least represented progress she put it all back in the envelope and emptied the second one. This time she covered her mouth with her hand in shock. The contents were similar to the other envelope except that the pictures were all of her. There were newspaper articles spanning from Cristian's death to her kidnapping by Hayes. The note he'd taped to the door the night they first made love. Tears filled her eyes as she stared at the memorial John had collected of their relationship but she quickly put it back in the envelope, reminding herself that she didn't have time to indulge in that sort of thing.

She steeled herself as she opened the third envelope, wondering what else John had felt the need to enshrine like this. Most of the contents were a yellowing collection of newspaper articles and the bulletin for the funeral mass of Thomas McBain. As she began flipping through the articles about John's father she heard Michael call from the bathroom.

"Well if I didn't believe you before I do now!"

Still holding the articles she hurried in to find Michael with a mass of pills splayed on the counter. "What's this?" she asked.

"This," he said, "is the painkiller I prescribed him after he hurt his leg. The prescription was for sixty tablets. There are still sixty here."

"So…"

She began as Michael finished for her, "Either he was drugged some other way or the toxicology reports were tampered with."

"I knew it!" she said.

"What do you got there?" Michael asked noticing the papers in her hand.

"Newspaper articles," she said, "about your dad."

He nodded. "Yeah, he's been obsessing about that lately. I actually suggested he look into the case, thought it might give him some closure."

"Did he?"

"I don't know," he said, "you think it's somehow connected?"

"I don't know," she said, "but I don't have anything else to suggest. Maybe…" She thought for a moment then said, "Okay, it's probably a long shot, but I've heard both of you say your father wasn't really killed by the bullet but by the drunken surgeon."

"Yeah," Michael said trying to follow her.

"Well is there any chance maybe that doctor works at Llanview Hospital and John tracked him down and-"

Michael laughed slightly. "That'd be a little hard."

"Why?"

"Because he's dead," Michael explained, "he lost his license after what happened to Dad and just went down hill from there I guess until-" He stopped himself and looked at Natalie as a revelation hit him.

"What?" she asked.

"He got drunk one night and took a bunch of pills and wandered into a deserted area of town and shot himself in the head."

"My God!" she said softly in shock.

"This is too much to be a coincidence," he said, fear evident in his voice.

* * *

As they headed back to the hospital Natalie called Rex and asked him to meet them at the entrance and as they arrived he climbed into the car so they could talk without being overheard. "How is he?" Natalie asked wanting to make sure nothing else had happened before they discussed the matter at hand. 

"Stable," he said, "they're letting him have visitors again." He looked at Michael, "Your mom's in with him now. So I take it you found something?"

"Not a whole lot," Natalie said, "but his painkillers are all still in the bottle so we know he didn't drug himself. And Michael just remembered that the drunk doctor who operated on their father committed suicide under identical circumstances."

"That's kinda creepy," Rex said.

"It has to be connected," Natalie said, "but I can't figure out how."

"What's bothering me the most is if it really is someone who works at the hospital then John's vulnerable as long as he's here," Michael said.

"Could we get him transferred?" Natalie asked.

He shook his head, "That would be pretty dangerous too."

She thought for a few seconds, "Okay then, we'll just have to divert whoever's attention away from John."

"How do we do that without knowing who it is?" Rex asked.

"What eventually happens every time someone's trying to get to John?" she asked.

Michael's forehead wrinkled as he thought but Rex understood what she was saying immediately and quickly said, "No!"

"Rex!" she protested.

"I'm lost," Michael admitted.

Natalie turned to him, "Every psycho who's gone after John since he got to town has eventually decided to get to him through me."

"And usually you wind up almost getting killed," Rex pointed out, "we're not doing it."

"We'll be ready and I'll have you to look out for me," Natalie said giving him a smile, "you'll make sure it doesn't go too far."

"If John were here he'd veto it in a second," he insisted.

"But he's not," she said, "That's the whole point. That's why I have to try."

"Not that I'm agreeing," Michael said, "but how would we make the person turn to you anyway."

Natalie sighed. "There's something I need to tell you."

_

* * *

Who needed a massage when you could spend a couple days in coma? He could feel his muscles more relaxed than he remembered them being in a long time. If he just let himself drift it all felt like floating in a cool pool. Not that bad._

_But somewhere in the back of his mind something kept reminding him that this was wrong. That he couldn't give into it. His mother was here, she kept telling him so._

_And Natalie. Had Natalie really been here or was that a dream? Did you dream in a coma? Where was she? He needed to talk to Natalie._

* * *

As they returned to the waiting area it was clear Marcie was not thrilled with the manor of Michael's exit. His mother wasn't there; she was still sitting with John. "It's bad enough you just took off," Marcie said hands on her hips, "but then you don't even bring back the coffee you promised." 

"Sorry sweetie," he said kissing her lightly, "tell you what, I'll go get you one now."

"Could you get me one too?" Natalie asked.

"No," he said giving her a meaningful look.

"Michael!" she pleaded.

"We talked about this," he said, "I'll be happy to bring you back some tea."

Natalie rolled her eyes, "Whatever."

As he disappeared Marcie turned to her, "What was that all about?"

"Long story," Natalie said, "he thinks I drink too much caffeine."

"Ah," Marcie said as though she weren't quite convinced, "doctors are kind of always on duty."

Eve rejoined them at that moment saying, "Natalie, you're back. Is Michael with you?"

"He just ran for coffee," she said, "how's John?"

"The same," she said, "they're letting him have visitors again, I'm not sure if it's just family or not."

"I'll go check," Natalie said standing up and walking towards John's room as she looked around for a doctor. Spencer Truman was standing outside one of the rooms nearby looking at a chart with his usual self-satisfied smile. "Excuse me Dr. Truman?" she said.

"Ms. Buchanan," he said, "how can I help you?"

"You're one of John McBain's doctors, right? I heard he was allowed visitors again but I wasn't sure if it was just family. I'm not quite family but I- Well I was hoping…"

His smile broadened, "I'm sure it would be all right for you to see him. His room's right over here."

"I know," she said with a smile as he motioned. She walked into John's room with, oddly enough, less trepidation than the last time. The door didn't shut behind her but she didn't turn to close it. Instead she sat down beside him and took his hand in hers.

"Hey there," she said, not caring if she was loud enough to be overheard from those passing in the hallway, "our last visit didn't end so well I know, but I also know you woke up for me. I need you to do that again."

She kissed her fingertips and pressed them lightly to his lips. "You have to come back to us John," she said kissing his hand, "I need you. And so does our baby."

* * *

She was still sitting beside him ten minutes later when Rex stuck his head in. "Can you come out here? There's something you need to see." 

She rose and joined him and Michael in the hall. "What is it?"

"John's cell phone," Michael said, "it probably should have gone to the police but it got stuck with his personal effects."

"Yeah?" Natalie asked.

Michael handed her the phone, "Look under 'Received Calls'."

She complied and her jaw dropped. "Why was _she_ calling him at two in the morning?"

"Good question," Michael said.

"I think we need to pay her a little visit," Rex suggested.

To be continued.


	7. Chapter 7

Evangeline looked up in surprise as Rex and Natalie charged into her office. "Natalie?" she asked, "What's going on? Is it John?"

"You could say that," Natalie said folding her arms across her chest.

Evangeline stood up anxiously. "Did something happen? Is he-?"

"He's the same," Natalie said.

"Well then what-?"

"We're trying to figure out how he got that way," Rex explained.

She tilted her head to the side curiously. "What do you mean?"

"Why don't you just tell us why you called John at two in the morning?" Natalie demanded.

"What?" she asked blankly.

"We have his cell phone," Rex said, "we've looked through the calls he received last night. We know you called him."

"Last night?" she asked.

"Or in the wee hours of the morning if you prefer," Rex said.

"I didn't!" she insisted.

"Stop denying it!" Natalie said. "We have the proof. And I'm not an expert in the subject, but I'm willing to bet it'd hold up in a court of law."

Evangeline sank back down into her chair looking stunned. "I don't understand it. I swear I didn't call John last night. I didn't call anyone at 2am. I wasn't even awake at 2am. I went to bed by 11:00."

"Then how did your number get on his cell phone?" Natalie asked leaning over the desk and bracing herself with her hands.

"I don't know," she stammered, "Maybe it was some sort of technical error. Maybe…" she pulled her purse out of a desk drawer and went to open it. "Maybe I lost my cell phone and someone picked it up."

"The call was from your home phone," Rex said, "nice try though." Natalie was grateful he'd checked that, she hadn't even noticed.

Evangeline paused and looked at them curiously. "What is this all about anyway? You think I had something to do with John's attempted suicide?"

"Maybe we'll tell you that when you tell us why you called him," Natalie said.

"I can't explain something that never happened, Natalie," she said matching Natalie's angry glare with one of her own.

"Then I guess there's nothing else for us to discuss," Natalie said straightening up and turning on her heel. She started towards the door but only made it a few steps before she paused and swayed suddenly as though she were about to faint. Rex grabbed her immediately by both shoulders. "Natty!" he exclaimed.

She leaned into him for a moment and brought a hand to her temple. "I'm okay," she said weakly, trying to regain her footing.

"No you're not," he said easing her into a chair.

"Can I get you something?" asked Evangeline who had stood up anxiously when she staggered. "Some water?"

"No," Natalie said quickly.

"Yes," Rex said firmly, heedless of the look of annoyance Natalie gave him as Evangeline went to get the water. "When was the last time you ate?"

Natalie thought. "I don't remember, I-"

"Then it's been too long," he said as Evangeline handed her a paper cup with water from the cooler.

"I have some protein bars around here somewhere," Evangeline offered, a look of genuine concern in her eyes, "sometimes I don't get a chance to get lunch. If you want one-"

Natalie looked at Rex seeming unsure. "I read you're supposed to stay away from processed foods," she said softly.

"Yeah," he said, "you're also supposed to stay away from stress and get plenty of rest and eat well balanced meals."

"I know," she groaned, "but-"

"Natalie, are you sick?" Evangeline asked.

"No," Natalie said quickly, "I'm fine. I'm just… you know… worried about John."

"Yeah," Evangeline nodded looking as though she didn't quite believe her.

"Tell you what," Rex said helping Natalie up, "I'll drive you back to the hospital and we'll pick you up something to eat on the way." Natalie nodded meekly and let him lead her from the office.

When they were safely out of the office and climbing into Rex's car she turned to him and asked, "You think she figured it out?"

"If she hasn't she will in a few minutes," he said, "She's not stupid, whatever else you think of her. So what do you think?"

"I don't know," Natalie said thoughtfully, shaking her head. "She seemed pretty sincere and she's not really a good liar ordinarily."

"Have you ever seen her try to lie?" he asked.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah. You have no idea how many times I had to hear the story about how she didn't mind John and I being friends."

* * *

At the hospital Michael stood in the doorway to his brother's room watching the nurse check his vitals and IVs. If whoever had tried to kill John twice already was still lurking around, hopefully they wouldn't have the balls to try something with him standing right there. As the nurse finished up and walked from the room she flashed him a well-practiced comforting smile. Ironically, he thought, this could turn out to be a learning experience for him—it was so easy working at the hospital to forget how it feels to be the relative of a patient. 

He followed her a few feet away to the nurse's station. "How's he doing, Celia?" he asked.

"He's hanging in there," she said sympathetically. "The arrest doesn't seem to have set him back too much."

"Good," he said.

"That red-head that was with him when he coded," she said, "is she his girlfriend?"

"Not exactly," Michael sighed. "It's complicated. They were together, but some things happened. I think they'll eventually find their way back to each other. You know, if he pulls through this." He tried not to let himself think about the other possibility.

"I'm sure he will," Celia said, "She seems to be taking this really hard."

"I know," he said, "and it's really not good for her in her condition."

"Her condition?" she asked.

"Oh, um…" Michael stammered, "I'm not supposed to say anything. She hasn't told anyone yet."

Clearly understanding what he was hinting at she nodded, "I won't say anything."

"Thanks," he said, "but if you could help me keep an eye on her…"

"I will," she said as she walked away.

"Michael?" he heard Marcie's voice say behind him.

He turned to face her, "Hey sweetie."

"Michael I heard what you were saying," she said excitedly, "is Natalie pregnant?"

"Shh," he hissed looking around. His orders might have been to spread the word around with the hospital staff but somehow Marcie shouting it didn't seem like the best way to do that.

Marcie lowered her voice slightly, "She is! Isn't she?"

"Yes," Michael whispered, "but she isn't telling anyone yet."

"Oh," Marcie said self-consciously, "well I won't tell anyone. But that's exciting. Does John know? I mean, it is John's, isn't it?"

"Yes," Michael said putting his hands on her shoulders to calm her down, "it's John's. He didn't know before he got hurt. She told him earlier, but it's anyone's guess if he heard."

"That's great!" she said, "if he knows that could be enough motivation for him to get through this."

"Let's hope," he sighed.

_

* * *

He felt farther away now. Like he'd been making his way to shore only to have a swell carry him back out to sea. There was no one here. Michael had been here and there had been the voice of a woman he didn't know. And before that his mother. And before that… Natalie. Natalie had been here. He could remember it but the memory was fuzzy, distant. He had something to tell her, but when he tried it just got dark again. _

_Natalie had something to tell him, too. But what was it? He couldn't shake the cobwebs off the memory. _

_He saw her. A long way away. Standing on the shore. She was holding something—a bundle in her arms. She turned to look straight at him but it was as if she couldn't see him. Then as if a camera had suddenly zoomed in for a close up he saw tears in her eyes. Once again, he'd made Natalie cry._

_He was standing in the hospital corridor—not quite a teenager but trying to pretend he was a grown up. The doctor's had given him the news almost an hour ago, but they were wrong. It was a mistake or they were lying; they had to be. Because his father couldn't be dead. A young man in scrubs went into the room where he'd last seen his father and started wheeling out the gurney, covered in a white sheet. _

"_Stop!" he called, "No! Dad!" He started towards the startled orderly but someone grabbed him from behind. _

_And that's when he heard another voice behind him calling, "Dad!" He turned, suddenly free of the hand that had held him, to see a boy he didn't know, but who seemed eerily familiar. He was ten, maybe eleven, years old, tears streaming down his cheeks as he stared at a gurney draped in a white sheet. "Dad!" he called desperately. John's eyes traveled from the boy to the woman whose hand was resting on his shoulder. Natalie…_

* * *

Natalie's phone rang as they entered the Angel Square Diner. Checking the caller ID she felt her pulse start racing immediately. "Michael?" she said, "What's going on? Did something else happen?" 

"John's okay," Michael said grimly, "the same. We have another problem though."

"What?" she asked.

"Marcie knows."

"Knows-?"

"About the baby," he said, "she overheard me talking with one of the nurses and she figured it out."

"Oh," Natalie said actually relieved that this was all Michael was concerned about. "That's not a problem. Actually, it's probably good if the idea is to let people know without it looking like I want people to know. You want to spread a rumor in Llanview there are only two people you need to talk to and we're taking care of Roxy later so-"

"I think we need to tell her everything," Michael said, cutting her off.

"Uh uh," she said, "like I said, Marcie's not good at keeping her mouth shut. We can't let whoever's behind this know that we know-"

"With something this important she'd be able to control herself," he said, "and she's gonna figure it out anyway. I can't keep lying to her."

"Michael she'll understand," Natalie insisted.

"It's not that," he said, "I mean I _can't_ keep lying to her. I'm not good at it. She can always tell. And if she thinks something's up she's just going to keep asking questions and making more noise and that'll be worse than just telling her."

She sighed. "Look, I'll be back at the hospital soon," she said, "we'll talk about this then."

"How did things go with-?"

"She said she didn't know what we were talking about," Natalie explained. "I don't know. She sounded sincere, but- we'll talk about it when I get back."

"Okay," Michael sighed, "I'll see you then."

"See ya," Natalie said as she shut the phone. Glancing at the time display anxiously she said to Rex, "I need to get back to the hospital," she said.

"You need to eat," Rex insisted.

"Rex," she groaned, "I'm fine. That was all staged for Evangeline."

"I know," he said, "but I also know you haven't eaten today. And you're running on about two hours sleep. You're no good to McBain if wind up in the room next to him."

Natalie rolled her eyes, but didn't argue the point further.

"So you think she was telling the truth?" he asked.

"I don't know," she said, shaking her head, "She seemed genuinely confused when we told her about the phone call, but I don't know how else to explain it."

"Well I can think of one explanation," he said.

"What?' she asked.

"Evangeline doesn't live alone," he pointed out.

Natalie's eyes widened in realization, but before she could respond someone smacked Rex on the back of the head. "Hey!" he said turning around to see the flashing eyes of Adriana Cramer.

She folded her arms sternly across her chest. "If you're going to break a date with me at the last minute you could at least have the decency not to show up at the place where we were supposed to meet. I thought you were busy."

"I am!" he protested.

"Really?" she scoffed, "but not too busy to come here for lunch. Which is what we were supposed to be doing in the first place!"

"It's my fault Adriana," Natalie said peering around her brother, "Rex has been busy keeping me sane today. We're only here because I nearly passed out and he decided I needed to eat."

"Are you okay?" Adriana's expression softened. "I heard about John. How is he?"

"He's in a coma," she said, "but he's stable."

"My prayers are with him," Adriana said before turning to Rex, "I'm sorry. I should have figured you were with Natalie. But why didn't you just tell me?"

"Because the two of you are totally incapable of communicating with each other," Natalie interjected, "I mean seriously, compared to you two, John and I don't look so bad."

"Thanks sis," Rex said giving her a sideways look. "Excuse her mood," he said to Adriana, "it's just sleep deprivation and low blood sugar."

"I'll go check on your order," Adriana offered.

"Wait!" Natalie said, "You're friends with Layla Williamson, right?"

"I wouldn't exactly call us friends," she replied uneasily.

"But you guys hang out," Rex said, "You have that cute nickname for her."

"Nickname?" Adriana said blankly.

"Yeah," he said, "the one that starts with an "S". San- San something."

"La Sangrona?" she asked blushing slightly.

"Yeah."

Adriana's blush deepened. "Not a term of endearment, Rex."

"Oh," he said, "so what does it-?"

"This is going to sound like a strange question," Natalie interjected, impatient with the two of them, "But do you know where she was last night?"

Rex turned to his sister and shook his head slightly, not keen on the idea of getting Adriana involved in this. But Adriana answered before he could stop her.

"As a matter of fact I do," she said with a smile that was clearly masking irritation, "she made a point of telling me. She was working late at B.E. With Duke."

"She told you to make you jealous," Natalie nodded understanding.

"Well she was trying to," she said.

"That should be easy enough to check out," Natalie said, speaking out loud unconsciously.

"Check out?" Adriana asked quizzically.

"Yeah," Rex said, "it's not a big deal, just something-"

Before Rex could stammer his way through a lie the cashier announced that their order was ready and they headed back to the hospital.

* * *

"So you think it could have been Layla Williamson?" Michael asked in a hushed voice as the three of them stood in a secluded alcove. 

"I have an easier time believing her than Evangeline," Natalie said. "I mean it's no secret I don't get along with either of them, but Evangeline's such a goody-two-shoes…"

"But Layla doesn't strike me as that bright," Rex said, "I can't see her orchestrating this whole thing. If she's in this, I doubt she's alone."

"Agreed," Natalie said thoughtfully.

"So what now?" Michael asked.

"You keep asking around here," Natalie said, "there's still some kind of connection on the staff. I'm going to call Duke and see if he really was with Layla last night and if so how late."

"I'll check around see if I can come up with anything on her," Rex said.

"Good idea," she said, "I'd like to go sit with John for a little bit before I do anything though, if that's okay."

"Go ahead," Michael said sympathetically nudging her towards John's room.

Dr. Spencer Truman paused on his journey down the hospital corridor and smiled at the red-haired woman desperately clinging to the hand of the unconscious figure. He had only half believed the bedside confession he'd overheard earlier; he'd heard family members make up similar stories before in the hopes that it would make a loved one awaken. But since then he'd had it confirmed by several sources he considered reliable enough on such matters.

He'd run into some unexpected complications recently, but it seemed his luck was shifting. Who would have thought he'd receive such a perfect gift as a child that was half Buchanan, half McBain…?

To be continued.


	8. Chapter 8

_His hand trailed over her face slowly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ears as he stared hard into her face. "John?" she asked, "what's wrong?"_

"_Not a thing," he said in wonderment. "I'm not used to that. I just can't believe that you're here."_

"_Of course I'm here," she said, "where else would I be?"_

"_You can't stay," he said looking at her curiously._

"_What do you mean?" she asked, "you want me to leave?"_

_He shook his head sadly. "No," he said, "but you need to wake up now."_

Natalie jerked awake, her irritation at discovering she had been dreaming pushed aside when she realized there was someone beside her with his hand on her shoulder. She looked up into the smiling face of Dr. Spencer Truman and felt a sudden jolt of unexplainable fear. "Dr. Truman," she said, blinking sleep from her eyes, "I'm sorry, I must have fallen asleep."

"It's quite all right," he said with an unchanging expression, "You obviously needed it. The human body is a remarkable thing that way—when we don't give it what it needs it tends to demand it of us."

"Yeah, I guess," she said standing up and smoothing her clothes. For some reason she felt incredibly uncomfortable with him looming over her like that. "How is he?" she asked indicating John with a tilt of her head.

Spencer sighed. "Well as you know it's remarkable that he's even alive. He's stable for now and barring any further setbacks I would say he's likely to survive but…"

Natalie's heart started to race when he trailed off. What about John's condition didn't he want to tell her? "But what?"

"Well brain injuries are tricky things," he said, "even if he _does_ survive there's no guarantee when or even if he'll wake up. And even if he does wake up it's hard to predict what the impact of his injuries will be. He could have lasting brain damage."

Natalie took a sharp breath in and steadied herself against the edge of John's bed. "Are you all right, Ms. Buchanan?" he asked putting a hand on her back. She resisted the urge to flinch away from it.

"I'm fine," she assured him.

"I'm sorry," he said, "it was insensitive of me to say that, you're obviously very concerned about Lieutenant McBain-"

"No," she said defiantly, "you don't know John. He's going to be just fine. If for no other reason than proving everyone else wrong." She walked briskly from the room meaning to head back to the waiting area to find someone else to sit with John but as she walked she had the sudden sensation of being smothered. Unable to think of anything but a need for fresh air she broke into a run and didn't stop until she made it out of the sliding glass doors at the front of the hospital. She steadied herself against one of the columns supporting the front awning, gasping for air.

"Natalie?" she heard a voice behind her say and turned to see her uncle Bo with a cell phone against his ear. She stared at him in response, still trying to catch her breath. "I'll call you back in a minute," he said to whoever was on the other end and shut his cell phone as he walked towards her.

"Natalie what's wrong?" he asked, "Did something happen? Is it John?"

"He's fine," she gasped, "there's no change."

"Okay," Bo said putting an arm around her shoulders, "so what happened?"

"Nothing," she said.

"Natalie you're on the verge of a panic attack," he said, "that doesn't look like nothing."

"I don't think I can do this," she said suddenly collapsing in sobs against his shoulder.

"Do what?" he asked gently.

"John," she said, "I was just with John and the doctor came in and- Bo what if he never wakes up?"

Bo backed up enough that he could look her in the face, "Natalie, John's not going to die."

"I know," she sniffed, "but what if he just doesn't wake up? He has a brain injury and they don't know how bad it is—what if it's like Ben? Uncle Bo, I saw what my mom went through, him being in a coma for so long, visiting him every day, just watching him there but not there. Praying he would wake up one day and then having him die anyway. If that happened to John, I don't think I'd be strong enough to make it through. I don't think I could handle that."

"Listen to me," Bo said firmly, but still gently, "first of all you're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. And secondly, you can't think like that. John's strong and he's stubborn and we both know that when he sets his mind to something there's no talking him out of it. So you just sit there and talk to him and you make him want to come back to us."

_

* * *

She was gone again. Had she really been here? There was a moment when she'd seemed so close he'd almost been able to touch her, but he couldn't quite reach. And now she was gone again. He'd lost her again and this time he didn't even know what he'd done. She'd run away. No less than he deserved in the end._

_He saw her at a distance. Way over on the shore, sitting in the sand her knees pulled up to her chest. She was watching a little boy playing in the surf. "Sweetheart," she called, "don't get too dirty. We have to go see your dad and they'll kill me if you track in all that sand." She smiled at the little boy, she seemed happy, but there was something obscuring her smile. Like a fog. Like she couldn't quite see her way to smiling fully. _

_Was she happy? He wondered. Even if he couldn't be part of her life he wanted her to be happy. Even if it couldn't be with him._

"_Johnny," she called, "are you listening to me?" _

_The little boy looked up at his mother and for the first time John got a clear look at his face, and suddenly he realized who he was. That boy was their son. His and Natalie's. They had a child. So why wasn't he part of their lives?_

* * *

When she had finally calmed down Bo looked her in the eyes again and said, "Now I know you're not gonna want to hear this, but I think you need to go home for a while. It's been a long day." 

It had, she thought. Looking around she realized it had gotten dark—it was night already. It felt like only minutes ago that Bo had called her this morning and at the same time this morning seemed so far away. "No," she said softly, "I need to say here. I need to be close to John."

"John would tell you to go home," he said.

"And I wouldn't listen to him either," she sniffed trying to force a smile.

"Just for a couple of hours," he pressed, "get some sleep. You'll feel better. You can come back refreshed, stronger, you'll be a bigger help to John. I promise someone will call you if there's any change."

She shook her head again. "I need to go back in. I need to talk to his mother and Michael."

"I'll walk you to them," he offered, "maybe they'll have better luck persuading you."

Michael, Marcie and Eve were sitting in the waiting area; Michael looked half asleep, his head listing to one side. Eve saw them approaching and sat up straight, a look of concern growing as she took in Natalie's tearstained face. "Natalie?" she asked, "I thought you were with John. Is he-?"

"The same," she answered fighting to keep from crying again, "I just um… I just needed some fresh air."

"Well that's understandable," she said, moving over so that Natalie would have room to sit beside her, "you've been cooped up here most of the day."

"I was actually trying to convince her to go home and rest for a little bit," Bo said.

"That's a very good idea," Eve said as Natalie sank down beside her.

"No," Natalie insisted, "I need to be here with John. What if something happens?"

"Visiting hours are almost over anyway," Michael said, "you'd just be waiting out here."

"Then I'll wait out here," Natalie said folding her arms defensively. She tried to give Michael a meaningful look without the others noticing; if they left John unguarded through the night, whoever had given him the near fatal medication could try again.

As if he heard her thoughts Bo said, "Officer Osterloh is going to be stationed by his door all night. If anything happens I'll have him call you immediately."

"Why are you posting a guard at his room?" Eve asked.

"Dr. Miller requested it," he explained, "she's concerned with John being a cop that someone with a grudge against him—you know someone he arrested who's out on probation or something—might try to take advantage of his condition. It's just a precaution."

Natalie saw Michael breathe a sigh of relief and hoped she was doing a better job of hiding her own. "You see," Michael said to her, "there's no reason you can't go home for a little bit. He'll be fine."

"Why is everyone so concerned about me?" she snapped back, "You've been here longer than I have!"

"But he's not pre-" Marcie clapped a hand over her mouth realizing she'd just said something she should have.

"Not what?" Eve asked.

"I'm so sorry," Marcie said to Natalie, "I know I wasn't supposed to tell anyone. Well I wasn't supposed to know, but I overheard Michael telling one of the nurses—please don't be mad at him he was just asking her to look out for you-"

"Marcie," Natalie said plaintively as she buried her eyes in one hand, "could you please stop talking now."

"Oh, yeah," she said, "I'm sorry, when I get nervous I start talking and-"

"What are you talking about?" Bo asked raising one eyebrow.

"Nothing," Natalie sighed.

"Is this 'nothing' the same reason Michael wanted you to cut back on caffeine?" Eve asked softly. Natalie could tell by her tone she'd figured it out.

Natalie looked at her trying not to panic. "Um… sort of," she stammered.

"Natalie?" Bo asked his eyes widening, "are you…?"

"Yeah," she said softly, "but please, I haven't even told Mom yet so please don't-"

"I won't say anything," he assured her.

"It seems Michael wasn't the only one keeping happy news from me," Eve said.

"John didn't know," Natalie said biting her lip. "I was going to tell him I just- I was waiting for a time that seemed right and it never happened. I told him today I just… I don't know if he heard me…"

"I'm sure he did," Eve said wrapping an arm around her shoulders as another tear fell from Natalie's eyes.

* * *

Natalie walked into Capricorn and scanned the room for Rex and Roxy. She'd get one heck of a lecture from Bo if he found out she wasn't at home sleeping as promised but she had more important things to do and, besides, she didn't think she'd be able to sleep anyway. Rex was sitting at a table by himself; Roxy was probably late—no surprise. 

As she slid into the chair across from him he asked, "Anything happen?"

"Marcie spilled in front of Uncle Bo and John's Mom," she said.

"Well we wanted the news to get around, didn't we," he said.

"Yeah," she said, "but… in front of his mother I just… I felt kind of trampy."

"Oh whatever," Rex said rolling his eyes.

"Oh," Natalie said remembering, "and Dr. Miller asked Bo to provide security for John's room. She said she was worried some ex-con might come after John while he was incapacitated, but-"

"She knows something," Rex nodded, "I'll check up on her next. In the meantime…"

"Did you find out something about Layla Williamson?" she asked.

"Just that she's suddenly come into enough money it doesn't look legal," he said, "until last month she was hugely in debt, student loans, big balances on her credit cards, the works. Suddenly last month everything was paid off."

"Really?" Natalie asked.

"Yeah," he said, "plus she might have some inkling we're on to her, she tried to hit on me right before you got here."

"You sure it's not just your animal magnetism?" Natalie asked with a smirk.

"Ordinarily that's what I'd say," he said, "but no, her sister warned her about me but good. Plus we don't particularly like each other. If she's changed course this suddenly I don't trust it."

"Speaking of her sister," Natalie mumbled trying to act oblivious to her former rival who had just entered the club. This became impossible when to their surprise Evangeline sat down at the table and announced, "I want to know what's going on."

To be continued.


	9. Chapter 9

"What's going on?" Rex echoed. "What's going on is I dragged my sister away from the hospital to get her to relax for a few minutes and don't take this the wrong way, but talking with you isn't going to help with that so-"

"So let's make this quick," she said, "Your little visit to my office today, what was that all about?"

"We told you," Natalie said, "John's cell phone showed that you called him just before-"

"I didn't," she said.

"Okay," Natalie conceded, "well someone did from your number."

Evangeline thought for a moment and shook her head. "That's impossible, it doesn't make any sense."

"None of this does," Natalie said feeling an unexpected surge of sympathy for her.

"So," she said hesitantly, "I'm guessing you guys don't really think this was a suicide attempt."

"How ya figure?" Rex asked.

"The questions you're asking, the way you're asking them. Plus the fact that I really can't see John being suicidal. I mean I think he has a bit of a death wish but it's not the same thing."

"No, it's not," Natalie agreed softly.

"So you think someone set this up?" she asked, "Tried to kill John and make it look like a suicide?"

Rex looked at Natalie, silently letting her know he'd leave it up to her whether to let Evangeline in or not. Natalie sighed. "Looks that way."

"You can't think that I had anything to do with it," she said, "I would never-"

"I know," Natalie said, "we've never gotten along and I doubt we ever will, but I have gotten to know you pretty well. I know you… you cared about John and I can't see you killing anyone much less… When I first saw your number on his phone I thought… it was a knee jerk reaction, but not anymore."

"So who _do_ you think is responsible?"

Rex and Natalie looked at each other, both knowing they couldn't tell her they expected her sister's involvement. Seeing from their look that they were hiding something she said, "Come on, I want to help."

"We don't know much," Natalie said, "I'm sure the police will-"

"The police?" she scoffed, "Don't expect me to believe for one minute that you two are going to wait on the police."

"Who's waitin' on the police?" Roxy asked as she sat down in the last empty chair, a half empty drink in her hand.

"Nothing for you to worry about," Rex said.

"Oh good," she said, "'cause I didn't do it, whatever it was. Hey Nattie, I heard about Johnny—he gonna be okay?"

"He's in a coma," Natalie explained, "but he's stable so-"

"So what are you doing here?" she asked, "I mean if there's anybody who can wake him up it's you, if you know what I mean." She elbowed Natalie suggestively.

"Roxy!" Natalie groaned rubbing one of her temples.

"Roxy try to show a _little_ sensitivity," Rex said.

"Well, it's true," she said. Looking at Natalie she added, "Sorry if I upset you. Tell you what, if you can spot me some cash I'll buy you a drink to make it up to you and then you can tell me what you needed to talk to me about."

"No thanks, Roxy," Natalie said, "I'm not drinking tonight."

"Oh come on!" she said, "I know you're worried about Johnny McHunk and all, but there's no better way to forget your troubles than to drink them away."

"Tell you what, Roxy," Rex said handing her some folded bills, "Why don't you get me another round and leave Nattie alone?"

Taking the money with a grin Roxy slunk back to the bar.

"So," Evangeline said when she was gone, eyeing Natalie curiously, "No alcohol, no processed foods. Are you on some sort of health kick, Natalie?"

"Yes," Natalie said tersely.

"What brought that on?"

"Look, Evangeline," she replied, "I'm willing to let you in on what's going on with John because I know you care about him and we could use all the help we can get, but that doesn't mean you get to go poking around in my personal life, okay?"

"Okay," she said sounding unphased, "I guess I was just wondering how personal it is."

"What do you mean?"

"Are you pregnant?"

Natalie had known she would come to that conclusion eventually, they'd dropped enough hints, but even though she was prepared she felt herself blush a little. "Yes," she said trying to keep her voice even.

"It's John's?"

"Either that or it's the Messiah," she quipped.

"Does he know?" Evangeline asked, struggling to keep her expression neutral just as much as Natalie was.

"He didn't," Natalie explained, "I was going to tell him, but I- I told him today, but I don't know if he heard or-"

"They say patients can hear what's said to them while they're in comas," she said trying to give Natalie a comforting smile. "Talk about motivation to live, John's got all the more reason to come back to us."

"Let's hope," Natalie said softly. She hadn't expected nearly this much sympathy from Evangeline of all people.

"But you really do need to take better care of yourself," she said, "not eating, not sleeping, all this stress… it can't be good for the baby."

"What baby?" Roxy said walking back to the table with fresh drinks in both hands, "You knocked up, Evangeline?"

"Um… no," Evangeline said uncertainly.

"Well then…" Roxy's jaw dropped as she set down one of the drinks and smacked Rex on the back of the head.

"Ow!" Rex protested, "What was that for?"

"Did you get some girl in trouble?" she asked sternly.

He held up his hands, "I swear I had nothing to do with this!"

Natalie held her breath as she waited for Roxy to reach her inevitable next conclusion. "Nattie?" she asked sounding shocked and then when Natalie didn't deny it she let out a squeal and threw her arms around her, splashing large quantities of the remaining drink on her. "Nattie! Oh my God! My baby's having a baby! No wonder you were so worried about Johnny—he is the baby daddy right? 'Cause no one would blame you if you and Cris… I mean once for old time's sake and everything."

"Yes, it's John's," Natalie croaked, "but could you relax your grip? You're suffocating us."

Roxy released her completely and hurried back to the bar where they could hear her proclaiming the news. Rex flashed Natalie a look that said "Mission accomplished."

_

* * *

There was someone in the corner. Someone he didn't quite know and couldn't quite see. Staying deliberately just out of sight. If he could turn his head he should be able to see… But he couldn't move. _

_Whoever it was was talking. He could hear the sounds but couldn't make them coalesce into words. He had a feeling they were important, but no amount of straining could decipher them. _

_There was someone else too. Standing closer. Beside his bed, almost close enough to touch. Her manner was defensive, protective. And yet… there was no reason he should be afraid of her of all people, so why tonight did her presence fill him with dread?_

* * *

"So do you guys have no suspects or just none you're willing to tell me about?" Evangeline asked as they watched Roxy continue to celebrate at the bar, the actual cause for her celebration long forgotten. 

"What about you?" Rex shot back, "Any ideas? Anyone he put away recently? Maybe one of your former clients who just got paroled? Anyone threaten him…?"

Evangeline thought for a moment but shook her head. "No, I can't think of-" She stopped and it was clear she'd thought of something but she kept her mouth shut.

"Evangeline?" Rex pressed. "Did you think of someone?"

"No," she said.

"We were honest with you," Natalie said, "on the grounds that you care about John. If you care about John and you know something or you might know something you need to tell us. You owe it to us and to him."

"It's nothing," she said, "I thought of someone who said something that could be interpreted… but I'm sure he didn't do it."

"Who?" Rex pressed.

"It doesn't matter," she said, "he didn't do it."

"Great," he said, "so tell us so we can rule him out."

"Look," she sighed, "all he said was that he wanted to 'deal' with John. It wasn't even really a threat."

"Just tell us who said it then!" Natalie exploded smacking the table angrily.

Evangeline looked nervously back and forth between the two of them, knowing there was no way out of this situation. "Cristian," she said softly.

To be continued.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's note:** Sorry about the delays on this one. This is the chapter where they sit around talking endlessly and nothing happens. Sorry about that. Also, hard to remember at this point but I posted Chapter 1 January 27th, fictionally it's still the first day (for the first part of this chapter at least) Besos! Dulce

* * *

"No," Natalie said firmly. 

"Wait, wait, wait," Rex said holding up a hand, "What _exactly_ did he say?"

"Just that," Evangeline said, "it was right before he got out of prison. He said he wanted two things—to get Natalie back and to deal with McBain."

"Cristian didn't do this," Natalie said.

"Of course he didn't," Evangeline agreed.

"You guys need to look at this objectively," Rex said, "'cause it sounds like-"

"I know what it sounds like Rex," Natalie said, "but I also know Cristian and he's not a murderer."

"He actually _is_ a murderer," Rex pointed out.

"No he's not," Evangeline said, "he was programmed to kill Tico-"

"So," Rex shrugged, "he was in Stateville with Hesser a long time. Maybe he programmed him to off McBain too."

"Why?" Natalie asked, "Before the riots Hesser didn't even _know_ John."

"I don't know," he said, "but I think we have to consider all possibilities."

"I've considered it," Natalie said, "He didn't do it."

"Can I at least ask some questions-?"

"You paid up?" Natalie asked brusquely as she stood up, "I'm ready to leave. The smoke's making me nauseous."

"Guess we're done here," Rex said to Evangeline as he slammed down some cash and followed his sister out of the bar.

_

* * *

He found himself looking down at Natalie, as though he were hovering over her bed. She was curled in a ball in the middle of her bed at Llanfair, not quite awake and not quite asleep. Her eyes and the comforter were still damp from the last assault of tears. She hadn't even bothered to crawl under the covers and she shivered in the winter night's air, but didn't move to do anything to warm herself. He reached out to brush a lock of hair back from her forehead, but couldn't seem to get his hand close enough._

_A sudden wave of vertigo hit him and when he recovered he found himself in a different room altogether, but he was still looking down at Natalie lying on a bed. The green pajamas had given way to a long purple robe and while she was still sitting on top of the covers, someone was tucked under them. He studied the face of the little boy, maybe four years old, as Natalie gently coaxed him to sleep._

"_I want Dad," the boy said suddenly looking up at her._

"_I know sweetheart," she sighed, "but he isn't here right now."_

_He tried to shout, to let them know that he _was_ there, but no sound came from his mouth. And suddenly Natalie and their son were gone and it was just black. Blackness and the certainty that _she_ was still nearby._

* * *

"How is he?" Natalie asked the next morning as she approached Michael in the waiting area. 

"No change," Michael said, "but they said scan results from yesterday showed minimal brain damage."

"That's great!" Natalie said.

"Yeah," he sighed, exhaustion dampening any enthusiasm he might have felt. "Mom's with him now, but I'm sure if you want-"

"No," she said sitting down next to him, "we need to talk. Have you seen Rex?"

"He's around," he said, "last I saw he was trying to charm the nurses in the hopes that one of them might know something."

"Okay," she said, "let me go round him up and we can regroup, figure out what we know and what to do now." She found Rex at the nurses' station with a couple of giggling aides and grabbed him by the arm, dragging him away. Then she motioned him and Michael into a huddle in the corner of the waiting area where they could be reasonably sure they wouldn't be overheard.

"How'd things go last night?" Michael asked.

"Well Roxy knows now," Natalie sighed.

"So everyone else will soon," he said.

She nodded as she continued. "So does Evangeline."

"For sure?" Michael asked.

Natalie nodded again. "She ran into us last night. Asked me point blank. She also knows we're looking into this."

"You told her?" Michael asked sounding shocked.

"She figured it out," Natalie said, "Say what you will about her she's not dumb."

"So I guess that means she's officially off the suspect list?" he asked.

"You all know how I feel about her, but she's not a good liar—we'd know if she wasn't telling the truth. Besides, I can't see her having the guts to kill someone."

"What about her sister?" Michael asked.

Natalie turned to Rex. "Any more on that front?"

He shook his head. "So far all I got is that she recently came into a big chunk of change. Three huge deposits starting about the time she started at B.E."

"You think it could've been an advance or something?" Michael asked.

Natalie laughed. "From my family? Not likely."

"Did you talk to Duke?" Rex asked, "Find out if Layla really was working late with him?"

"He didn't pick up the phone yesterday when I called but I talked to Nigel and he gave me the impression Duke was hung over. Said he staggered in a little before 1:30."

"Which means even if Layla was with him she'd have had time to get back-" Michael said verbally connecting the dots.

"-and make the call," Natalie finished.

"But why?" Michael asked, "I mean I know she hates John for hurting her sister but-"

"I also seriously doubt she's capable of getting the drop on McBain," Rex said, "plus there's the money and the medication mix up yesterday. Clearly someone else is masterminding this."

"Okay," Natalie said rubbing her eyes wearily, "So what about the doctor who treated your dad—the fact that he died the exact same way. It has to be connected."

"Probably a set up too," Michael nodded.

"You said John was looking into your father's murder?" Rex asked Michael. Michael nodded. "So possibly he stirred something up, made someone nervous, they decided they needed to get him out of the way."

"But how could Layla Williamson be connected to my father's murder?" Michael asked, "I don't even think she was alive."

"I guess that's what we need to figure out," Natalie sighed. "Okay, what about this doctor, do you have any more information on him?"

"No," he shook his head, "but I'll see if I can come up with anything."

"Let us know what you come up with," she said.

"Okay," Rex said tapping his foot as if he were having to control the urge not to pace, "then there's the Paige Miller factor. What's she got to do with all this?"

"She asked for that guard on John's room," Natalie said, "she must know something's going on."

"Yeah," Michael said, "and the order for that med error had her signature, but Rex was talking to her at the time, so she couldn't have given it."

"And what I don't get about that is why she hasn't _said_ so," she said tucking her hair behind her ears, "I mean she has an alibi and she could get in trouble over this, right?"

"Big trouble," Michael nodded.

Natalie turned to Rex and asked, "You've been doing some work for her, right?"

He held up his hands in a 'stop' sign, "I'm sworn to secrecy on that."

"I wasn't going to ask about it," she assured him, "I was going to ask if you thought she might trust you enough to tell you about this."

"Doubtful," he said, but I'll give it a try."

"Okay," she said decisively, "so where do we go from here?"

Rex eyed her uneasily. "I think we need to talk about Evangeline's suggestion from last night."

"It wasn't really a suggestion," she said, "She didn't believe it either."

"Okay," he said, "but I still think we need to consider it."

"Consider what?" Michael asked anxiously.

"Nothing," Natalie said firmly.

Rex turned to him, "We asked her if she knew of anyone who had threatened you brother and she said-"

"It wasn't even really a threat," Natalie interjected.

"Well who made it?" Michael asked.

"Cristian Vega," Rex said.

Michael's eyes narrowed, "I shoulda known."

"It wasn't him," Natalie insisted.

"Natalie," Michael said leaning into towards her and barely keeping himself from raising his voice, "he hates John. He blames him for losing you."

"I hate Evangeline," she said, "but I'm not gonna kill her."

"You're also not gonna threaten to kill her," he said.

"He didn't say he was going to kill John," she explained, "he said he was going to 'deal with' him. That could mean anything."

"Right," he insisted, "up to and including-"

"Michael you barely know him," she said shaking her head, "I was married to him. He's not a murderer."

Michael snorted, "Tell that to Tico Santi."

"It was a different situation," she said.

"Yeah well as I recall he did a pretty good job of covering his tracks that time too," Michael said, "take it from the guy who nearly lost his medical license because of it."

"You've said it yourself," Rex said, "He's changed, Nattie. He's not the same guy you married. He's got a temper. Trust me, I found out the hard way. How many stitches did that take?"

"Enough to prove Cris can be dangerous if he wants to," Michael replied.

"Okay you know what?" Natalie said angrily, "if it looked like a fight, if they found John in an alley, behind a bar, at his apartment even, I might could believe it. Because you're right, he does have a temper and I'll admit it even scares me a little every now and then. But this wasn't a crime of passion—it was cold and calculated and that is not Cristian. Someone took a while to plan this and set it up and make it look like John did this to himself."

"Okay," Rex conceded, "you actually have a point there, but I still think we should look into where he was night before last."

"Go ahead," Natalie said taking a sip from her coffee cup, "but you're not going to find anything."

_

* * *

He willed her to go away, but she wouldn't. She just stayed there, right beside his bed, not saying anything, not even really looking at him. It was crazy, he knew. There was no reason he should be afraid of her. Her of all people. _

_He tried to say something to her, but still found him mouth useless. There were things he needed to say. Things he needed to tell her and everybody else. Things he needed to say to Natalie. And questions he needed to ask. Things that didn't quite make sense. _

* * *

Michael raised an eyebrow at Natalie suddenly, "What's in that cup?" 

"Coffee," she said with a look that dared him to object.

"You shouldn't be-"

"You shouldn't jump to conclusions," she said as she took another defiant sip, "it could be decaf."

"Is it?" he asked.

She shrugged. "It's really not anyone's business."

Michael rolled his eyes as Rex looked at her thoughtfully, "You should really start wearing looser clothes."

"I'm not _that_ pregnant," she said.

"Let's see," Michael said, "what would be the estimated date of conception?"

Natalie looked at him in shock, "Michael, there are details of my relationship with your brother that I'm really not going to discuss with the two of you."

"Okay," he said undeterred, "probably right before Statesville so like early November, first pregnancy… you really won't be showing yet."

"But if she really wants to sell it," Rex insisted.

"Yeah, I mean it's not a bad idea if you want to make sure our killer knows," Michael said, "which, by the way, I'm still not convinced is the best strategy."

"Trust me," she said, "if someone has it in for John that badly they'll be interested in the fact that he has a baby on the way."

"You should start patting your stomach too," Rex said, "you know like pregnant women do."

"Yeah," Michael said, "and that thing where they put their hand on their lower backs-"

"Okay, okay," Natalie said holding up her hands to stop them both, though she looked moderately amused, "have either of you _been _pregnant before?"

"It's not like you have," Rex said.

"You sure about that?" she deadpanned.

Rex studied her for a moment, "I thought I was."

She smiled, "Don't worry. No long lost children here. Not that I know of anyway."

"Well you _are_ a Buchanan," he shrugged.

"Seriously though, Natalie," Michael said, "you need to watch it with the coffee. And you need to sleep and eat and, you know, generally take care of yourself."

"You're forgetting something very important Michael," she said, somewhat confused by his concern.

"Like what?" he asked.

"Like the fact that I'm not really pregnant," she hissed.

"I'd give that advice to anyone," he said, "No, I haven't forgotten that one. I'm too busy feeling guilty for keeping it from my fiancée."

"I'm sorry about that," she said, "the one I feel _really _bad about is your mom. And Uncle Bo. But we start letting people in and we lose control over who knows and-"

"Mom!" Michael said loudly to alert Natalie to his mother's presence.

"Natalie," Eve said, "I didn't realize you were here."

"I just got here a few minutes ago," she said.

"What are you three talking about so seriously?" she asked.

"Nothing in particular," Natalie said, hoping she wasn't blushing too obviously. "Just… John and everything."

"How are you feeling?" Eve asked sitting down.

"Okay," she said smiling weakly, "all things considered."

"Did you sleep at all after you went home?"

"A little bit," she admitted, "I kept waking up, worrying about him."

Eve patted her knee, "I had terrible insomnia when I was pregnant with John. Though I know this whole situation can't be helping. But you've got to try to take care of yourself—John's going to be just fine."

Natalie felt tears come to her eyes at such tender words from this woman they were lying too. "I know," she said hoarsely.

"Why don't you go sit with him for a while?" Eve suggested.

"Yeah," Natalie said standing up, "I'd like that."

Dabbing the corners of her eyes she made her way down the hall to John's room. Even though she was prepared for it this time the sight of the machines, his bandaged head, made her tremble slightly. She sat down beside him and took his hand. "Miss me?" she asked. "They sent me home to sleep. I couldn't though. Funny—I can't sleep and that's all you're doing. I mean I know you've probably got a lot to catch up on, but could you wake up already? I promise, if you get better we can take a whole week and lock ourselves in at your place and just sleep. I think I'm gonna need it before this is all over." She lowered her head and pressed her lips to his hand. At least if felt warm. She could feel life still in his hand—he was going to live. No matter what she had to do to make sure.

* * *

After his mother stepped away to the ladies' room Michael pulled Rex aside. "So what do you think about the Cristian stuff?" 

He shrugged, "I don't know. Nattie's pretty sure, but-"

"I'm not," Michael said.

Rex nodded. "Yeah, I'll look into it. She can't really be objective on this, but I wouldn't rule him out just yet."

To be continued.


	11. Chapter 11

"Dr. Miller!" Rex called as he caught sight of her walking out of her office.

She stopped and looked at him in surprise. "Yes?"

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked then taking a look around he added, "preferably in your office?"

She nodded, "Of course." She led him back to her office; Rex noticed that she seemed to look around as if she wanted to make sure they weren't being watched. When they entered her office she quickly shut the door behind them. "So is this about-?"

"The little research project I've been working on for you?" he finished, "no. I was hoping we could talk about John McBain."

He saw fear spark in her eyes which she quickly tried to cover with blankness. "Well I'm not one of his doctors," she said, "but I can check-"

"But you _were_ the one who ordered that medication that caused the interaction with the anesthesia," he said.

"Oh," she said, "that."

"Yeah," he said, "that."

"I feel just terrible about that," she fumbled, "I-"

"The thing that confused me," he continued, "Is that I could have _sworn_ I was in your office talking to you at the time."

"There must be some kind of mix up," she said numbly.

"Yeah," he said, "Like someone forged your signature on the chart."

She hesitated and for a moment he thought she was close to confessing something, but she shook her head. "You don't know what you're talking about, Rex."

"You're right," he admitted, "I don't. That's why I'm trying to get you to tell me."

"Look," she said, "it's been a long week—I have a lot on my mind. I made a mistake."

"So you gave the wrong medication _and_ wrote the wrong time on the chart?" he asked.

"Yes," she said, trying to sound firm but not quite managing.

"One problem," he said, "Patient's brother's a doctor. He said judging by the time John's heart stopped and the amount of the medication in his system it had to have been administered while you and I were talking."

"Rex!" she said, a note of desperation creeping into her voice, "leave this alone."

"Why?" he asked.

"Look whatever happened, it's over now," she pleaded, "Lieutenant McBain is going to be all right and he's safe now-"

"That's right," Rex said slowly, "you asked Bo to put a guard on his room. Why'd you do that?"

Paige pretended to look through some papers on her desk, "It's standard procedure when we have police officers in here. Just in case anyone had a grudge against him-"

"When Bo was in here after Statesville he didn't have a guard," Rex pointed out, "I would think if Chief of Detectives warrants one then the Commissioner-"

"Look I don't have to explain myself to you!" she said, an angry edge growing in her voice.

"You're right," he nodded, "but until you do I'm just gonna keep asking. I can be a real pain in the ass when I want to."

"Why does this even matter to you?" she asked with a wild look in her eyes.

"Same reason you have me tracking down your son," he said, "because family's important. And regardless of how I feel about McBain he's pretty important to my sister, and I can't let her look into this alone."

Paige's expression softened and she was silent a moment while the anger, but not the desperation seeped away from her face. "You're sister—I heard—there's a rumor going around the hospital that she's pregnant. Is it true?"

"Yeah," he said, "but try not to spread it around."

"She needs to be careful," Paige said pursing her lips, "you need to find a way to get her to drop this."

"What do you mean she needs to be careful?" Rex asked, concerned by the ominous tone of her words, "Is Natalie in danger? If you know anything-"

"I don't," she said sharply, "just… you have no idea what's going on. Drop this!"

"Dr. Miller-" Rex protested as she pushed past him to the office door.

"I have to go," she said through a shallow breath, "I'm late to a staff meeting."

"Wait!" he said but she had fled the office before he could stop her. He watched her hurry down the hall knowing he couldn't afford the kind of scene that chasing her would cause.

* * *

Michael glared at the snack machine that had just eaten his dollar bill. He contemplated shaking it in the hopes that the candy bar hanging from one of the coils would fall, but knowing his luck he'd be caught by one of his supervisors. Sighing he decided this was the nutrition gods reminding him that he needed more vegetables in his diet. He turned to walk back to the waiting area when he heard a woman's voice say his name. 

"Evangeline?" he said turning around, "Hey, how's it going?"

"I should be asking you that," she said, "What's going on?"

He shrugged, "Johnny's the same. Test results look good though."

"Well I guess that's something," she said thoughtfully. "So I talked to Natalie and Rex last night-"

"They told me," he said.

"So…?" she said in a low voice.

"So?" he echoed.

"So what's going on?" she said, "Have you found out anything?"

He studied her for a moment, unsure if he should really talk to her about this. "No," he said.

"Okay," she nodded, "what now?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, though he suspected he knew.

"Come on, Michael," she said, "I know you guys are trying to figure out who's behind this. I want to help."

"I don't know," he said trying to walk away, she followed.

"Michael, you don't think I had anything to do with this, do you? Because-"

"No," he shook his head, "It's just… look you need to talk to Natalie, she's really the one running this whole thing."

Evangeline snorted, "Yeah, I'm sure Natalie's real eager to talk to me. Get me involved."

"Hey," he said, "she was one of the first to be convinced that you didn't have anything to do with this."

"But we're a long way from friends," she said. "Look, I want to help, but I'd just as soon stay under Natalie's radar. Just please give me something to do."

Michael cast her a sideways look, "You know where Cristian Vega was the night John was shot?"

A look of irritation washed over her face, "Does Natalie think Cristian did this? That's unbelievable I never should have told her-"

"Easy," Michael said putting his hands on her shoulders, "Natalie _doesn't_ think Cristian did this. In fact, she was pretty emphatic he didn't. But I'd like to make sure."

"You can't possibly believe-" she started before Michael cut her off with a motion of his hand.

"Evangeline," he said in a low but serious tone, "my brother is in a coma. Someone has tried to kill him twice in the last thirty-six hours. I'm not in a position to ignore any possible leads no matter how crazy you think they are."

Looking somewhat sheepish she said, "Okay, you're right. I'd probably be the same way if it was my sister. I'll talk to Cristian, see what I can find out."

"Thanks," Michael said with half a smile, "by the way, how _is _your sister doing?"

Evangeline seemed confused by the question. "Okay," she said, "her new job at BE's keeping her pretty busy, I never see her these days. Why?"

Michael trusted Evangeline, but he knew letting her know they suspected her sister in this would be a bad idea. "No reason," he said, "just haven't seen her in a while."

Tilting her head slightly to the side she gave him a curious look, as though she didn't quite believe him but she didn't say anything. "Well I'll tell you what Cristian says, but Michael, please keep in mind that not many people have alibis for 2:30 in the morning."

"I will," he said, "but try not to let him know why you're asking."

"Not sure how I'm going to do that," she said, "but I'll try. And let me know if there's anything else I can do."

"Will do," he agreed as he turned to walk back to where his mother was waiting.

* * *

Natalie tried not to let her eyes stray to the bandage on the side of John's head. Part of her was getting used to seeing him this way and the other part of her hated that fact. There was no reason to get used to this, she told herself, it wouldn't last for long. "They say I'm supposed to keep talking to you," she said, brushing the hair back from the left side of his forehead. "The problem is I'm running out of things to say. Everyone always talks about you being quiet, but I guess I never realized how much you usually say until you weren't saying anything at all. You know I woke up in the middle of the night last night, and I could swear you were in the room with me. Pretty crazy, huh?" 

She raised his hand to her lips and kissed it. "I was thinking when you wake up, once the doctor says it's okay, you and I should go away. Somewhere neither of us has been where no one knows us. Like… I don't know, Boise or Milwaukee or… Siberia, I don't care. Some place we can really get away from everything."

She looked down at his motionless form praying for him to move. To give her some sign. "Come on," she whispered, feeling her voice start to crack again, "you woke up for me once before. Please. Let me see those blue eyes again." She paused and waited. Hoping with every once of energy she had that her words would have the desired effect. He didn't move. She leaned down and kissed his hand again. "I love you, John," she whispered through tears.

_

* * *

Natalie couldn't hear him no matter how loud he screamed. No matter how hard he reached to wipe away her tears she was too far away. This was getting really frustrating. He couldn't even remember how he got there in the first place…_

_A phone call. Late at night, he was almost asleep. A woman's voice, garbled by tears. A drive through town, still disoriented, groggy, but he couldn't wait. Then a flash of light, almost simultaneous with burning on the side of his head. _

_He needed to tell Natalie. This and so much more. A thousand other things he should have said a long time ago. He thought before that he couldn't say them, but now he was starting to appreciate the difference between "couldn't" and "wouldn't". And if he could have moved his arm he would have smacked himself for it._

* * *

Spencer glared at his cell phone when he saw the number on the caller ID. "You shouldn't be calling me," he said as a greeting. 

"They're asking questions," she said, sounding desperate.

"Of course they're asking questions," he said, "did you really think they wouldn't?"

"I think they know something," she said.

"They _think_ they know something," he hissed. "They don't have any proof because there isn't any proof to have. So keep your mouth shut and keep acting innocent and this will all go away."

"But-"

"And don't call me again," he said firmly, "I'll call you when I need to talk to you."

He closed the phone and dropped it back in his pocket. This was going to work, he assured himself as he watched a shaky looking Natalie Buchanan switch places at John McBain's bedside with her uncle. Maybe not quite as planned, he thought to himself, but this was going to work.

* * *

"There you are," Rex said as he saw a somewhat dazed Natalie walking down the hall. 

"Yeah," she said, "I was sitting with John."

"You okay?" he asked.

She nodded, holding back the tears that were pricking at her eyes. "It's just hard seeing him like that."

Rex put an arm around her, pulling her into a half hug. "Hang in there," he said, "he's gonna be okay. McBain's too stubborn to go out that easily."

Natalie tried to force a smile at his comment. "Did you talk to Dr. Miller?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said pensively.

"And?"

"Well she definitely knows something," he said, "what, I don't know. And…"

"What?" Natalie asked when he trailed off, "There's more? What else did she say?"

He hesitated, knowing full well Natalie wouldn't react to this the way he wanted her too, "She seems to think you're in danger."

"Well that was the point of the plan, wasn't it?" she asked without flinching.

"Yeah," he sighed, "I know, I just… now that it's a reality I'm questioning the wisdom of going along with you on this one."

"The wisdom of going along with me is that I'm going to keep looking for who did this until I find them, whether you're with me or not," she said, "this way you can keep an eye on me."

He shook his head and wondered if he could stop her by locking her in a closet somewhere. Michael approached them at that moment looking somewhat out of breath. "Hey guys, I'm glad I caught you," he said.

"What's up?" Natalie asked, "Is it John?"

"No," he said, "well, sorta, in a round about way I guess. I just talked to someone from the hospital in AC. I couldn't get them to release the records of the surgeon who worked on dad but I happened to get a nurse on the phone that knew him. She said that the whole thing was really weird."

"How so?" Rex asked.

"Well she said that before that night he had a perfect record, but that actually something strange happened a couple weeks before my dad died. Apparently he got mugged and after that he just started acting different."

"Drinking?" Natalie asked.

Michael shook his head. "Jumpy, nervous. But as far as she knew he never drank before that night. She said she never quite believed it really happened."

"What does that mean?" Natalie asked, wrinkling her forehead.

"I don't know," he said, "but I don't think I'm going to get any more information out of them. Not over the phone anyway and I don't want to leave my mom or John right now."

"I could run up there," Rex offered.

"Would you?" Natalie asked.

"Yeah," he nodded, "it's not that far and he's right, it's a lot easier to get info out of people when you're actually in their faces."

"Thank you," Natalie said hugging him tightly, "be careful. Let us know as soon as you find anything out."

"Will do," he said as she pulled away. Turning to Michael he said, "Do me a favor and watch out for her okay."

"I'll be fine," Natalie groaned.

"I'll keep her in line," Michael agreed throwing an arm playfully over her shoulder.

"No one can do that," Rex assured him, "but if you keep her out of mortal danger I'll be happy."

Natalie rolled her eyes but smiled slightly.

_

* * *

Natalie stood gazing at the bank of candles in the chapel, dressed in a somber blue suit, her arms wrapped protectively around the bundle in her arms. His mother approached and put a hand on her shoulder. "How are you?" she asked._

"_I'm okay," Natalie said through misty eyes, "I just wish John could be here."_

"_I'm sure he does too," she said, "and you know he is here. In your heart. And in this little one too." She lightly touched the nose of her sleeping grandchild. John tried to tell them that he was there. More than in their hearts he was standing beside them, but no one seemed to notice. And then as he had come to expect, the scene faded._

_She was back again. If she ever really left in the first place. She didn't seem to do anything, just hover there. And yet her very presence seemed to be a threat. It wasn't so much as what she represented. So strange how things changed; once upon a time looking up and seeing her standing by his bed would have made him feel very differently. _

_So why did he want so badly to run now?_

To be continued.


	12. Chapter 12

If it wasn't for the fact that they forced her to go home at night she suspected she would have lost track of time completely. As it was she could only barely wrap her mind around the fact that it was only the second day since John had been shot. Maybe she was only seeing what she wanted, but his color seemed better this morning. And the spots around the wound that had been shaved were starting to grow enough stubble to prevent that naked, raw look they'd had on the first day.

Suddenly having the sensation of being watched she turned to see Cristian standing in the doorway watching her. "Cristian!" she gasped, trying not to sound too startled, "hi."

"How's he doing?" he asked, motioning to John.

Standing up and walking closer to him she said, "He's stable. The tests look good. But they won't really know much till he's awake."

Cristian nodded. There was a dark expression on his face; one that she suspected had nothing to do with concern for John. It was one of those expressions that the man she'd married had never worn that had only crept in after his return. His face was neutral but there was a seething anger visible just below the surface.

"Cristian?" she asked hesitantly.

"You really think I did this?" he finally spat out.

"What?" she asked in confusion and surprise.

"Evangeline came to see me last night," he explained. "She started asking me all these weird questions. About where I was the night he got shot. It finally hit me why."

"And she said that I sent her?" Natalie asked.

He shook his head and scowled. "No, she covered for you. At first she kept insisting she was just curious, but I finally got her to admit you guys thought John didn't shoot himself. Wasn't hard to figure out the rest."

"Cristian," she said solemnly, "I never believed you had anything to do with this. And I didn't ask Evangeline to go over there and question you. She threw out the suggestion and I said it was impossible. But I thought she agreed--I don't know why she would question you."

"Neither do I," Cristian said coldly. She could tell he didn't quite believe her. "For the record I was asleep. I don't have anyone to corroborate that because I sleep alone these days."

"I believe you Cris," she said closing her eyes, "I know you couldn't have done this. I'm sorry she even asked you."

He looked her up and down, "She told me something else too." Natalie's heart sank as she realized what Evangeline must have told him, but she remained silent and waited for him to continue. "She told me that you're-" he made a hint of a gesture towards her abdomen, apparently unable to say the words.

"Yeah," she confirmed softly.

He nodded slowly; she could tell how hurt he was by this news. "Is there a reason you didn't tell me?"

"I'm sorry, Cris," she said, "I didn't mean for you to find out from someone else. I hadn't told anyone until two days ago. I haven't even known myself for that long."

Cristian's eyes shifted to John's unconscious form. "I hope he knows what a lucky guy he is."

"He doesn't," she said, wishing she could find a viable escape from this conversation, "I mean I hadn't told him yet."

Cristian gazed at John and then at Natalie. "You ever wonder," he said wistfully, "if it hadn't been for everything that happened in Vegas… _we_ might have a child by now."

Wrapping her arms around her chest and avoiding his gaze she said, "Thinking like that doesn't do anyone any good. I try not to."

"Yeah well congratulations," he said quickly, though from the tone of his voice he didn't mean it. "I hope he gets better fast. And next time you have a question to ask me do it yourself." And with one last glance towards John he spun around and left.

Natalie watched him go, trying not to cry and wondering how she could feel so uncomfortable around a man she'd once loved so much. She turned to John and mumbled, "Fringe benefits of being in a coma. You get to avoid awkward scenes like that."

* * *

Michael forced himself to focus on the chart in his hand. His mother had pushed him to go back to work today and he'd agreed only because it still kept him in the hospital around his family. 

"I talked to Cristian," Evangeline said approaching him.

"And?" he asked.

"He said he was asleep. He doesn't have any witness who saw him there, but I don't think that's really unusual considering the hour," she said.

Michael sighed. "Okay, well if you believe him and Natalie believes him and you two know him better than me..."

"So who else are you looking at?" she asked.

Knowing full well he couldn't tell her they had suspicions about her sister he shrugged. "No one really. I guess that's why I latched on to Cris."

"Well have you figured out how my number got on John's caller ID?" she pressed.

"Um… I don't know," Michael said uncomfortably, "You'd really have to talk to Natalie or Rex. This is more their thing."

"Natalie's not going to tell me anything," she said with a shake of her head, "and I have a hard time believing she'd accept that I didn't make those calls unless she'd come up with an alternative explanation. Please, Michael, I want to help."

"Look," Michael sighed, "In case the chart in my hand and the lab coat didn't clue you in, I'm working right now. And-"

"Why did you tell Cristian I thought he was involved in John's shooting?" Natalie asked Evangeline angrily as she approached them all of a sudden.

"I didn't," Evangeline protested.

"He was just here," Natalie said, "he said you went to talk to him last night."

"I did but-"

"I told you I knew he didn't do it," Natalie said, not letting the other woman finish her explanation, "so why did he show up here saying that you were asking him about an alibi?"

"I went to see him last night," she admitted, "but I didn't tell him you sent me."

"What?" Natalie scoffed, "so now you're telling me you _do _think he did it? Why would you be asking him for an alibi?"

"Because I asked her to," Michael interjected. "She wanted to help and Rex and I thought it would be a good idea to explore any leads we had. So blame us, not her."

Natalie gave Michael a quick glare which let him know he'd be getting a lecture later before turning back to Evangeline, "And why did you tell him that I was…?"

"I'm sorry about that," Evangeline said, "I just assumed he knew already."

"Why would I have told him when I hadn't even told John?" Natalie asked raising her voice slightly.

"You know what?" Michael said moving between the two of them, "it really doesn't matter. And you're not going to help John by cat fighting in the hospital hallway. What happened to your concern for John outweighing any hard feelings towards each other?"

"I'm sorry," Natalie said to Michael, not Evangeline, "I didn't mean to make a scene. I'm just kind of on edge."

"Which is kind of understandable," he conceded.

"But I really do want to help," Evangeline said. "Give me something to look for. Something to track down."

"I don't know," Natalie said wearily, "I'm kind of out of ideas, but if you can think of something-"

"Maybe I can get a hold of the security tapes from my apartment building," she suggested, "find out if someone could have broken into my apartment that night because I really don't have any other explanation."

"Unless someone else has access to your phone," Michael said.

Natalie shot him a meaningful look letting him know he'd said too much, but it was too late. Evangeline turned to him, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," he said quickly.

Evangeline thought for a moment and her eyes widened, "Layla? Are you accusing my sister?"

"We're not accusing anyone," Natalie said.

"That's completely ridiculous!" Evangeline continued, "she barely even knows John, why would she-?"

"I'm sure she wouldn't," Natalie said, hoping at least she could prevent Evangeline from discussing this so loudly in public, "it's just like with Cristian, we're running over every possibility."

"Well allow me to rule that one out for you too," she said caustically, "I'll see if I can get those tapes." As she clicked away on her high-heels Natalie turned an annoyed gaze to Michael.

"I'm sorry!" he said holding his hands up, "I told her to be discreet if she talked to Cris."

"Why did you tell her to talk to Cris at all?"

"Because I don't think you can be objective when it comes to him," Michael said leaning forward so he didn't have to raise his voice. "And John's my brother and I need to get to the bottom of this as much as you do."

Natalie sighed, "I'm sorry. I see why you would suspect him, I just… And I'm _really_ not sure about bringing _her_ in on this."

"Yeah," Michael said, "and I understand why, but I really do think she wants to help. And I figure at this point we aren't in a position to turn down help."

"I guess," she said rubbing the back of her neck, "I just wish she hadn't found out about the Layla thing."

"Sorry about that," he said, "but maybe it'll be good. Evangeline can keep a better eye on her than any of us, and if she starts acting strange she might pick up on something."

"Hopefully," she said, changing the subject she added, "I think John was looking a little better today, don't you think?"

Michael looked down the hall towards John's room. "Mom in there now?"

"Yeah," she said.

"I'm gonna peek in real quick before I get back to work," he said, "you get yourself something to eat and take it easy."

"Michael," she groaned, wondering if the men around her were this bad when she was faking a pregnancy how bad they would be if she ever really had a baby.

"Hey," he said patting her on the shoulder with a wink, "I told Rex I'd take care of you two. Don't want him all pissy with me when he gets back."

"Gets back from where?" a soft voice asked.

Natalie turned to see an anxious looking Adriana Cramer. Michael patted her on the shoulder once more and said, "I'll catch up with you later." Watching him walk away Natalie made a mental note to glare at him later for leaving her alone with a former in-law she barely knew. "Hi," Natalie said.

"I'm sorry to bother you," Adriana said, "Rex left me this cryptic message saying he had to go out of town but he didn't say where or how long or why. I was hoping you might know something."

"Adriana," Natalie began slowly.

"I just want to know if he's okay," she said.

"He's fine," Natalie assured her, "it's kind of a strange situation though. I don't know when he'll be back. But soon hopefully."

Adriana let out a small sigh of relief. "I'm sorry," she said, "I don't know why I'm worrying so much."

"Because it's hard to feel like you're being kept in the dark by the man you love," Natalie said sympathetically, "it hurts."

The younger woman seemed startled by her words, "Oh, I don't know if I would call Rex-"

"Okay, you're gonna want to save the denial for someone else," Natalie told her, sounding a little more harsh than she intended, "I just got a real big reminder of how stupid it is to not tell people you care about them, so I'm not really feeling patient with other people who do it."

"I'm sorry," Adriana mumbled. For a moment she looked like she was going to leave, but then she spoke hesitantly again, "By the way, you were asking me about Layla the other day…"

"Yeah," Natalie said, suddenly snapping to attention.

"Well I just thought you might want to know she's been acting kind of strange the last couple days," she said, "and when I saw her today she was asking me about Rex and why he was asking questions about John."

"What did you say?" Natalie asked urgently.

"That I didn't know," she said, "which is the truth, but I don't think I would have told her anyway. There was something strange about it all."

"Thanks," Natalie said.

"Do you think Layla had something to do with what happened to John?" she asked.

"We're not sure," Natalie said, unsure whether to say anything. She was sure Adriana was trustworthy but somewhat concerned that in her naïveté she might say something to the wrong person.

Almost as if she understood this Adriana squeezed Natalie's hand and said, "Let me know if there's anything I can do to help."

_

* * *

He'd always hated hospitals. Ever since he watched them wheel the shrouded gurney with his father's corpse down the hallway of the hospital in AC. He'd never understood how Michael could spend so much time in them. Maybe Michael wasn't really old enough to remember that day. _

_He needed to remember how he'd wound up here. It didn't do him any good to figure out what had happened if he couldn't figure out why. Why? He wracked it brain, searching through the memories of the days that led up to this…_

_They'd believed a lie for twenty-five years. He found that out the day before. He thought about telling Michael but Michael would have asked for answers he couldn't give yet. Because uncovering a lie and uncovering the truth were never quite the same thing. _

* * *

Natalie was returning from the hospital cafeteria when her phone rang. Seeing Rex's name on the caller ID she flipped it open quickly. "Hey what's up?" she said. 

"How much do you love your darling little brother?" he asked.

"You found something?" she guessed, "what?"

"First you have to promise never to doubt my magical powers of persuasion and information gathering again," he said.

"Sure I promise," she said impatiently.

"Okay," he said taking a deep breath, "you remember how Michael said the doc who worked on Daddy McBain was mugged a little bit before the incident?"

"Yeah?" she said.

"He filed assault charges," he said, "somehow he found out the identity of his attacker. Turns out it was a juvenile so the records were sealed."

"Damn!" Natalie said through gritted teeth.

"Eh eh eh," Rex said, "you're doubting me."

"You got a hold of the records?" she asked eagerly, "how?"

"Better I don't tell you," he said, "you'll want deniability. Anyway, turns out this kid is someone we know."

"Who?" she demanded.

"David Truman. Better known to the good people of Llanview as David Vickers."

_

* * *

But it didn't do him any good to remember anything if she was here for the reason he suspected. Damn. He hated feeling so helpless, so feeble. What could he do to stop her in his present condition?_

_Focusing all of his thoughts and energy on one task he finally managed to speak to her, though he suspected she might have been the only one who could hear him. "Go," he said, "Caitlyn, leave. Please."_

To be continued.


	13. Chapter 13

"David Vickers?" Natalie asked in shock.

"The one and only," Rex said, "Or let's hope at least. The strange thing is the doc withdrew the charges two days later. Said he was mistaken."

"Okay," Natalie said sinking into a nearby chair, "I need to get this straight. David Vickers is charged with assaulting this doctor. Doctor drops the charges almost immediately but hospital staff say he acts strange. Not long after Thomas McBain is brought in with a gunshot wound. He dies on the operating table, allegedly because this doctor was drunk when he operated, but no one ever remembers him drinking before. A few weeks later the doctor dies in an apparent suicide which mirrors almost identically the attempt on John's life 25 years later."

"Kind of an unlikely set of coincidences," he said.

"Of all the people in town I would have suspected of being involved in this, David was never one of them," she said.

"It still seems kind of suspicious to me," Rex said, "I have a hard time picturing David Vickers getting the drop on John like this."

"I need to talk to him," she said more to herself than to her brother.

Rex snorted. "Good luck. If he hasn't talked about it for 25 years I doubt he's gonna say much to you. I can head back and see if I can get anything out of him."

"No," she said quickly, "You stay where you are and keep looking." A thought occurred to her, but she hesitated, knowing Rex wasn't likely to appreciate her suggestion. "It might work better if I had someone who knew David better. Someone he'd be less likely to suspect."

"You're plotting something, Nattie," he said. "I can tell."

"You know, Rex," she said, "We do have someone on our side who knows David pretty well. And she was just here offering to help."

It took him a minute to process who she was talking about. "No," he said as soon as he connected the dots, "if you're talking about Adriana, leave her out of this."

"Rex she offered to help," Natalie protested.

"She doesn't know what she's volunteering for," he said, "she isn't some tough Jersey girl like you. Whoever's behind all of this, two people are dead and one's in a coma. She doesn't need to get involved in this."

"I'm not planning on _involving_ her in this," she said, "I just want to take her to talk to a guy who was engaged to her mother for ages. They lived in the same house for years. I don't think she's in any danger from him."

"Look Natalie, you're desperate," he said with a sigh, "and I understand that and I appreciate it, but-"

"And the fact that you're so protective of Adriana is very sweet in a kind of Neanderthal way," Natalie interjected, "but having been on the other end, and having talked with her just now I know she hates the way you're shutting her out of this."

"I'm not shutting her out," he objected, "but this doesn't have anything to do with her."

"Whatever," she said, "I'm not interested in playing relationship counselor for you two, I just want to see if she can talk to David for me. Or with me. I promise I won't do anything that'll put her in any danger."

"Well forget about Vickers for a minute," he said, "'cause there's more."

"More?" she asked anxiously.

"An avenue I'm more comfortable with you exploring," he said, "one of the nurses that was in the OR with John's father and the drunken doc. She left AC right about the time this surgeon Snyder died."

"You think her leaving was related in some way?" Natalie asked.

"Could be," he said, "and she works at a nursing home in Aberporth now."

"Aberporth?" she repeated, "That's like fifteen minutes from here."

"Exactly," he said, "so why don't you take Dr. Mike and go pester her and hold off on the David Vickers angle till I have more info."

"Or I could send Michael to talk to her and I could go talk to David," she pointed out.

Rex groaned on the other end of the phone, "You know, sometimes I hate the way you don't give up on things."

"Only when it's inconvenient to you," she said, "what's the woman's name?"

Natalie scribbled down the name of the nurse and the nursing home. "Have I told you you're going to make an awesome PI?" she said.

"So you're going to check out the nurse first, right?" he pressed.

"Okay, I'll start there if it's that big a deal," she said dismissively, "you're the best. Call me if you find anything else out." She hung up the phone before Rex could make her promise anything about staying away from David or not involving Adriana.

* * *

Now that Michael was back at work he was more difficult to find, but Natalie finally found him looking over some x-rays. "What's up?" he said, realizing from her expression that something must have happened. 

"Rex found one of the nurses that was in the OR with your dad," she said, deciding not to tell him about David just yet. "She works in Aberporth."

"You're kidding," Michael said, surprised.

She shook her head. "I was going to head over there, try to talk to her. Just on the off chance she knew anything that could help us figure out who's behind all this. Are you off anytime soon?"

"Theoretically I'm off at seven," he said but motioning to the four clipboards he was holding said, "but honestly it'll be at least eight."

"I hate to wait that long," she said glancing at her watch and seeing it was only 1:00.

"You okay to head over there by yourself?" he asked.

Natalie nodded, grateful that Michael was slightly less overprotective than Rex or John.

"Just be careful," he called to her as she walked away.

* * *

"Lina Weston?" Natalie asked the middle-aged woman that the receptionist had pointed out to her. 

The woman looked at her in surprise, "Yes, can I help you?" There was still a bit of an AC inflection to her voice which helped clear Natalie's doubt she had the right woman.

"Hi," Natalie said extending her hand, "My name's Natalie Buchanan, I was hoping to ask you some questions about a patient of yours."

The woman shook her head. "HIPAA prohibits me from releasing any confidential information about my patients."

"Oh," Natalie said, "well I'm not actually looking for information about the patient—he died. I'm trying to find out about the doctor who treated him.'

The woman frowned, "One of the doctors here?"

"No," she clarified, "no, this was a surgeon you assisted in Atlantic City.'

She snorted, "Honey that was the better part of 25 years ago, I was just out of school. I really can't say I remember much."

"What about a Dr. Snyder?" N asked, "He was a surgeon you assisted. Do you remember him?"

N could tell immediately from the look on her face and the way she inhaled sharply that she did. "Yes, I remember him," she said softly.

"You were there when he worked on a gunshot victim," N explained, "a police officer. He was drunk and made a mistake on closing and the patient died."

"I'm sorry," the woman said breathlessly, "I can't help you." She turned and started to walk away but Natalie caught her by the arm.

"Please!" she said, "You're not in any kind of trouble, I promise. I just- my... someone I care about very much is in danger and it all goes back to this. I need to find out what happened in that operating room."

"No you don't understand," the woman said, "I _can't_ help you. I don't know."

"You don't remember?"

"No," she said pulling her arm out of Natalie's grasp, "I wasn't there."

Natalie stared at her confused, "But the hospital records-"

"I know what the records say," she said, "but I wasn't in that OR. I was with Dr. Truman."

"Dr. Truman?" she asked. "Spencer Truman?" Immediately her mind started racing; if Snyder had initially identified his attacker as David Vickers and it turned out David's brother had a connection him as well...

Lina shook her head, "No, his wife. Paige was her name I think."

"What were you doing with her?"

The woman was clearly nervous about discussing this, but she kept talking anyway. "She overdosed that night."

"Overdosed," she repeated, "on what?"

"I don't remember exactly," she said, "it was a painkiller of some kind. And she'd mixed it with alcohol, which is never a good idea."

"So why do the records-?"

"Because she'd stolen it from the hospital. The rumors were she'd been addicted to it for a while. If there had been any record she would have lost her medical license and possibly been open to criminal charges. Plus it would have looked bad for the hospital."

"So they covered it up," Natalie said, "who?"

"Her husband," she said, looking back and forth as if she expected to be overheard, "there must have been other people involved, but I'm not sure who."

"So he falsified the paperwork," Natalie said, piecing together the information, "said everyone was in other rooms with other patients so there would be no record of Paige's overdose."

"I didn't hear about what happened in the other room until later," she continued, "I didn't believe it at first, Doc Snyder'd never been the type, but he admitted to it. Lost his license. And then a little while later..."

"He killed himself," Natalie said, "I know."

"He was a wonderful surgeon before that night," she said, "I don't know what happened."

"Let me ask you something," she said, "Spencer Truman and Dr. Snyder did they get along?"

The look of uneasiness on the Lina's face grew. "Dr. Truman was... I don't know it's hard to describe. There was something about him. He was a brilliant doctor. I mean really brilliant, I think everyone was sort of in awe of him. I was too at first. But he always seemed to have something going on behind the scenes. Him and his wife and a couple other people that worked there. I don't know what was going on, it was just understood that you didn't ask. And he tended to be very exclusive. If he liked you he could sometimes go out of his way for you, but if he didn't... Things tended to happen to people he didn't get along with. People who got in his way."

"He didn't get along with Snyder," Natalie guessed.

"No," she said, "They had a big fight one day. I'm not sure what it was about, but we all heard them shouting. Then they just sort of stopped talking, but things were very tense between them. But of course Dr. Snyder wasn't around for long after that."

"How did you get along with him?"

"Truman? He seemed to like me," she said, "as I said I was young. Right out of school. I think he knew I wouldn't stand up to him. I didn't want to get on his bad side."

"That's why he pulled you in when his wife overdosed. He figured you wouldn't say anything."

"And I didn't," she said softly, "He pulled me aside later. He wanted to make sure I knew exactly how bad it would be for me to say anything. That's part of why I moved away."

Natalie debated whether she should tell the woman how close she was to Spencer now, but decided against it. "Thank you so much," she said squeezing the woman's hand.

"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you more about Dr. Snyder," she said.

"No, no," she assured her, "you've helped me out a lot."

As she drove back to Llanview Natalie's mind raced, trying to make sense of the information she'd gathered. Between the allegations against David and what the nurse had said about Snyder and Spencer's interactions it was a reasonable conclusion that Snyder had crossed the brothers in some way. But these days they didn't seem to get along at all. Had they been on better terms back then? And connecting the two men to Snyder did not automatically connect them to Thomas McBain's death. Except that Snyder's death and the attempt on John's life had been almost identical, so someone had wanted them both dead and John's father was the only connection between the two. And someone at the hospital had attempted to kill John a second time, and with what the nurse had said about those who got in Spencer's way…

She flipped open her cell phone and dialed Michael.

"Did you talk to her?" he asked without even saying hello.

"Yeah," she said. "Turns out she wasn't actually in the room with your father."

"Damn," he said, "so that was a dead end."

"Not exactly," she said, "she was actually treating another doctor who had overdosed on pain killers and alcohol."

"Okay," he said, "I don't see how that helps us."

"The doctor's name was Paige Truman."

Michael was silent for a moment. "You still with me?" Natalie asked.

"Yeah," he said, "Paige Miller worked in the hospital with my dad?"

"And so did her husband," she said, "and the night your dad was killed Paige came in with an overdose of stolen painkillers. Her husband skewed the paperwork to hide the fact that she was ever treated. She also said that Snyder and Spencer did not get along."

"Okay," Michael said after thinking for a moment, "I think Dr. Miller's around--I'll talk to her and see what I can find out."

"All right," Natalie agreed. "I'll be there in a couple minutes. But you go ahead and talk to her—she might be more likely to talk to you."

Michael hung up the phone and started in the direction of Dr. Miller's office. He stopped short suddenly, however, at the sight of Evangeline Williamson sitting on one of the waiting area couches looking stunned. "Evangeline?" he asked.

She turned to look at him. "I don't know where Layla was the night John was shot," she said numbly. "She wasn't home when I went to bed. I don't know what time she came in."

"Okay," he said slowly, not sure what she was getting at.

"She could have made that phone call," she said, "I would have slept right through it."

Michael sat down next to her. "But a couple of hours ago you were totally convinced she couldn't be involved in this."

Evangeline kept staring straight ahead as she continued. "I just saw her… she stopped by my office and… she was acting pretty strange. And if I'm honest she has been for a while now. But she kept asking me questions about John and Rex and Natalie and…" she turned suddenly to Michael and he could see tears building in her eyes, "Michael, I think she knows something."

As much anger as he had towards anyone involved in his brother's shooting, Michael could tell how upset Evangeline was and he felt bad for her. "Any idea what?" he asked gently.

She shook her head. "No. But Michael even if she's involved she can't be the one behind this. I mean she doesn't even know how to fire a gun, there's no way she could have… I mean maybe she made the phone call, whatever it was, and she didn't even know what was going to happen."

"Maybe," he conceded.

"She might have been dragged into this against her will," she added.

"Could be," he nodded, "but we need to find out. If she knows something she could be in danger herself."

"I know," she said, "but she's my little sister, Michael. I'm supposed to look out for her and I don't know how to do that now."

"Maybe someone else should be the one to talk to her," he suggested, "that way you don't have to feel like you're betraying her."

"I already do," she said with a wry smile, "besides she won't talk to any of you. Maybe if I can convince her that if she comes clean I can help her… I don't know."

Leaning forward so as not to be overheard he said, "Ask her if she knows Dr. Truman."

Evangeline pulled back and looked at him in surprise, "You think he's involved in this?"

"Just a hunch at this point," he said.

"Okay," she nodded seeming resolved suddenly, "I'll go find her. I'll let you know what I find out." She stood and made her way down the hospital corridor; Michael watched her walk away before rising himself to find Dr. Miller.

* * *

Natalie looked down at John's unconscious form. There were other things she should be doing, but she felt like she needed to stop in and remind herself of exactly what was at stake. She took a deep breath. "So apparently cooing over you like a baby isn't doing any good," she said, "so what's it going to take? What do I have to do to make you wake up?" She began pacing at his bedside. "Everyone keeps telling me I'm supposed to give you something to live for, but clearly they don't know what they're talking about. Because apparently I'm not enough. Come on John, I'm running around being impulsive, mixing with dangerous people, and trying to solve crimes on my own again. Don't you want to at least wake up to yell at me?" 

Falling back into the chair at his bedside she softened suddenly and kissed his hand. "Please John," she said, "I really need you. I need you to help me figure this one out. I need you to tell me what to do next."

At that moment the door to John's room swung open and Natalie was startled to see Spencer Truman standing there. "Hello Natalie," he asked in his usual good natured manner.

"Dr. Truman," she said, hoping her suspicions weren't too obvious. "I was just sitting with John."

He nodded. "That's good. It's good for long term coma patients to have the voices of loved ones. Speaking of which, do I hear congratulations are in order?"

"Word gets around," Natalie said forcing a smile and placing a hand lightly on her abdomen.

"Well," he said putting a hand on her shoulder, "hopefully he'll be awake by the time his child is born."

Controlling the urge to brush his hand away Natalie looked at him steadily. "He will," she said, "John lost his father young—he wouldn't do that to his own child." Watching him react to that statement, Natalie was certain for the first time that Spencer was involved in what happened before. He didn't flinch, but it was obvious he wanted to. She could see him making the effort not to react to the mention of John's father. And that meant she was going to _have _to talk to David.

* * *

Natalie pushed open the door to the diner trying not to let the urgency of her errand show. Standing behind the counter Carlotta gave her a look of disapproval which made it clear she had probably heard the news about the baby. Natalie scanned the room and found Adriana sitting at one of the smaller booths. 

"Thanks for coming," she said as she slid in across from her.

"What's going on?" Adriana asked, "Is it Rex?"

"No he's fine," Natalie said, "except he's going to kill me when he finds out I got you involved in this."

"Involved in what?"

Natalie leaned forward so she could be heard if she spoke softly. "It's about John. It'll take too long to explain, but… Are you still on speaking terms with David Vickers?"

_

* * *

On some level he was aware that he wasn't actually speaking—that he wasn't making any sound audible to the waking world. It seemed strange that forming speech only in his mind should be so difficult, but he struggled to put together the words he needed to. "Caitlyn," he said again, "you need to go. Leave."_

"_I can't do that John," she said in a voice that was gentle but firm and touched with sadness, "not until I've done what I was sent here to do."_

_There was a time when he would have done anything to be with her again. So why did she finally come for him when he had a reason to stay behind?_

To be continued.


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's note:** This chapter gave me more fits than I can describe. Kinda loathing it still, but I don't think we'll be reconciled any time soon, so I'm posting anyway. Thank you to everyone who's still reading this story no matter how frustrated with it I am.

* * *

"You're sure he's coming," Natalie asked Adriana for the third time as she paced across the office. 

"I told him there was an issue with _Craze_ that I absolutely could not solve without his help," she said, "if there's any guaranteed way to get to David it's feeding his ego. Now could you… could you sit down please, you're making me nervous."

"I'm sorry," Natalie said flopping down in a chair. "I'm just worried."

"About John?" Adriana said sympathetically.

Natalie looked at her uneasily. "Adriana we didn't talk about... John and I we… I know Cristian's your cousin. I know the two of you are close-"

"I want Cristian to be happy," she said, "and no matter what he thinks he won't be happy with someone who's in love with someone else. And I know you can't force your heart to feel one way or another. Believe me, I've tried."

"Thanks for understanding," Natalie said with a weak smile. She was about to say more when the door burst open and David Vickers walked in.

"So what is this crisis that could only be handled by my-" seeing Natalie sitting there he stopped short, "Natalie Buchanan. Following family tradition and getting into journalism, are we?"

"Investigative reporting," she said.

"Okay," he said uneasily.

"Sit down David," Adriana said, "we need to talk to you."

David raised an eyebrow. "Adriana Cramer, did you lure me here under false pretenses?"

"Yes," she said simply.

"I am _so_ proud of you," he said, making a point of bringing his right hand to his chest, "you're more like your mother every day."

"Whatever," she said rolling her eyes, "just sit down."

"So," he said turning to Natalie, "to what do I owe the honor."

"There's nothing honorific about it," she said, "I need to ask you some questions."

"About what?" he asked not moving to sit down.

"Twenty-five years ago you were charged with the assault of a Doctor Snyder," she said.

"The charges were dropped," he said without flinching.

"And about a month later the doctor wound up dead," Natalie continued.

"I heard he committed suicide," David shrugged.

"Who did you hear that from?" she asked.

David's nervousness was beginning to show. "I don't remember. I mean word about something like that gets around."

"You and your brother don't seem to get along," she said thoughtfully, and she could see from David's expression that he realized this wasn't a random subject change.

"That's hardly a secret," he said leaning back against a desk.

"What about back then?" she asked, "were you closer back then?"

"I lived with him back then," he sighed.

"I didn't know that," Adriana said.

"I don't like to talk about it," he explained. "Dad was in prison for not taking my advice about avoiding a certain mark so Spencer offered to take me in. I was a kid, hadn't developed the refined taste I have now so of course I thought my big brother was the coolest thing since crepes with nutella."

"So you lived with Spencer and Paige?" Natalie clarified.

"Yes," he said, "They weren't your typical newlyweds. Is there some direction to this interrogation?"

"Dr. Snyder worked with your brother and Paige," she explained.

He shrugged. "Funny how doctors tend to work with other doctors."

Natalie could tell from the way he answered her questions that he knew something, but she tried not to let her frustration show. "A nurse who worked with them said Spencer and Snyder didn't get along."

"Even funnier how people don't tend to get along with Spencer," he said rolling his eyes.

"What's funny," Natalie said, "is how someone who your brother didn't get along with identified you as the person who assaulted him. How did he even know who you were?"

"Did it occur to you maybe he was trying to get to Spencer by using his prepubescent little brother?" David asked.

"It did," Natalie said evenly, "but it also occurred to me that it's just as likely Spencer would use his prepubescent little brother to get to an enemy."

David looked at her in surprise. "How did you get to know Spencer so well?"

"David," Adriana said speaking up, "after you left my mom at the altar you said it was Spencer's fault. That he was holding something over you. Was this it? Did you really assault Dr. Snyder?"

David snorted. "Adriana I wouldn't have left your mother over a mere assault charge. Besides, the statute of limitations on assault would have been long over."

"But not on murder," Natalie pointed out. "There is no statute of limitations on murder."

"Whoa!" David said holding up his hands, "Who said anything about murder?"

Natalie gave him a look of feigned innocence. "I was just thinking, if assault wasn't enough leverage to make you leave Dorian what would be?" She thought for a moment. "Another woman?" she shook her head, "can't imagine there being two women in the world willing to put up with you."

"Hey!" David said looking very offended, "I made my living as a conartist for years. I can be plenty charming when I choose to."

"Another man?" Natalie pondered.

"Oh please!" he said, "be a little creative at least. Not even in Llanview would that happen twice in a year."

"I give up," Natalie said, "what is it?"

"First of all," he said, "why do you think for a minute I would actually tell you? Second why do you care why I left Dorian? It's not like she's exactly a family friend."

"I don't care about Dorian," she assured him, "I'm interested in Dr. Snyder."

David looked genuinely confused. "Okay that makes even less sense."

Natalie leaned forward a little as she explained. "A few weeks after you assaulted him-"

"Allegedly!" David pointed out.

She nodded to indicate that she conceded that point while she continued. "-he apparently showed up at work drunk and botched a procedure causing the death of a gunshot victim."

"Still waiting for the part where this becomes relevant to a Buchanan heiress," he said.

"The gunshot victim's name was Thomas McBain," Natalie said.

David blanched. "McBain? As in John 'I brood deeply, have an unpredictable temper and carry a loaded gun' McBain?"

"His father," she explained. "Michael's too. So why don't you tell us what you aren't telling us? Were you the one who beat up Snyder?"

"One isn't an accurate term," he said hesitantly.

"So you're telling me you did it but not alone?" she said to clarify.

It was clear David realized he'd said something he shouldn't have. "I think you've worked around cops too long," he stammered, "You're twisting my words."

"Then give me a clear answer," she said, "Did you assault Dr. Snyder?"

"No," he said, though by the way he averted his eyes Natalie suspected he was still lying.

"Did you kill him?"

"It was a suicide," he insisted, "how could I be responsible for _that_?"

"Recent evidence suggests it might not have been," Natalie said.

"And what evidence would that be?" he asked skeptically.

Natalie hesitated a moment, not sure if she wanted to reveal what they knew about John's supposed suicide attempt, but it was clear she wasn't going to get any information out of him unless she could surprise him with something. "John McBain was investigating Dr. Snyder or or more specifically his father's death. Three days ago he was injured in an apparent suicide attempt that mirrored Snyder's exactly."

The smarmy expression on David's face faltered. "I didn't realize."

"What do you figure are the odds of that?" she asked folding her arms across her chest and fixing him with and inquisitive stare.

"I don't know," he said, "somewhere between those of DID showing up twice in one family and the same person being kidnapped by two different serial killers."

"David!" Adriana scolded rising to her feet.

"We know that John didn't try to kill himself," Natalie said, too determined to get rattled, "so it stands to reason that if the attempt on his life was a set up the first one might have been also."

"And why do you think I know anything about all this?" he asked.

"Because there are too many strange intersections between your family and Snyder," she said, "there's the assault charge, Spencer's argument with him, the fact that nurses who were supposedly in the operating room with Snyder when Thomas McBain died were actually with your sister-in-law."

"What?" David asked clearly genuinely surprised by this final revelation.

"You have to know about that," Natalie said, "Paige apparently had a problem with prescription painkillers."

"I might have known something about that," he said.

"She overdosed that night on pills and alcohol."

"I didn't know that," David said honestly, "does Paige know that?"

"How could she _not _know that?" Natalie asked.

"I don't know," David said, "but Spencer has a very different version of that night and he's been holding it over her head for a long time."

"What does Spencer say happened that night?" Natalie said leaning forward anxiously.

"You're gonna have to ask him," David said standing up suddenly.

"No, no, no," Natalie said moving to block the door, "what does Spencer say? Does it have to do with Thomas McBain's death?"

"I didn't even know that guy was Thomas McBain until you told me today!" he insisted.

"So what _did_ you know about him?" she demanded taking a step towards him.

"Nothing," he stammered, "I was a kid I-"

"David, please!" Adriana pleaded stepping forward suddenly. "Just tell her what you know."

"David," Natalie warned through gritted teeth, "you have no idea how desperate I am right now. If you don't tell me everything you know-"

"Well Natalie," David said trying to restore his typically jovial demeanor, "I know that ketchup was originally made from anchovies and that Governor Brooks has a penchant for women's underwear and-"

"This is serious David!" Adriana reminded him raising her voice.

"So is that!" David said, "Do you think that the voters of Pennsylvania would-"

Natalie took another step towards him balling up her fist as Adriana snapped, "¡No seas putamadre!"

"Have I ever told you that you're _hot_ when you curse in Spanish?" a voice asked from the door that no one had heard open.

"Rex!" Adriana said startled.

"What are you doing here?" Natalie asked without taking her eyes off David.

"I was driving back into town and saw your car in the parking lot," he said, "I figured the only reason for you to be at the _Craze_ offices would be that you decided not to listen to me and enlist Adriana's help with Vickers."

"I wanted to help," Adriana said.

"Yeah, we'll talk about that later," Rex said rolling his eyes. "In the meantime, you looked like you were trying to go somewhere," he said to David.

"But not before he tells us everything he knows about the deaths of Dr. Snyder and Thomas McBain," Natalie said.

"Oh good," Rex said folding his arms across his chest, "Because I have enough evidence to show that you and your brother were involved somehow, I would sure love it if you could just connect the dots and show me how."

"I wasn't involved!" David protested.

"David," Adriana said in a gentle voice, "I've defended you to other people. Told them that despite all the evidence to the contrary you were a decent guy. Please don't prove me wrong."

David looked a bit like a cornered animal caught between Adriana's pleas and Natalie's still clenched fists. Finally he sighed. "Spencer and Snyder got into it because Snyder found out that Spencer and Paige and a couple of other hospital staff were using the hospital supplies to traffic prescription drugs for recreational use."

"And that's why your brother sent you after Snyder?" Rex asked.

"The first time," he said. "He didn't tell me what it was really about, of course. Just that there as this guy after our family and I might be able to persuade him otherwise."

"And the second time?" Natalie asked.

David shook his head. "All I did was make a phone call."

At that instant Natalie's cell phone rang.

"Now that's just freaking creepy," Rex said under his breath as Natalie answered it.

"Natalie," she heard a shaky voice say on the other end of the phone.

"Evangeline?" she asked, "What's up?"

"Can you come down to the police station?" she asked, "it's about what happened to John."

* * *

"Dr. Miller?" Michael asked knocking on her open office door. 

"Yes Michael," she said, "come in."

"Mind if I close the door?" he asked.

Paige seemed slightly concerned by this request but nodded in agreement. "What can I help you with?"

"I just found out that you worked in the hospital where my Dad died," he explained sitting down across from her.

"I didn't realize that," she said.

"I know it was a long time ago," he said, "but I was wondering if you remembered anything about the doctor who worked on him. His name was Snyder."

What color she had drained completely from Paige's face as she stammered, "I don't remember him very well."

"Oh but you must have heard about him," Michael insisted, "A nurse who worked there said this guy Snyder had some sort of feud with your husband."

"Well that's part of why he's now my ex-husband," she said, "he didn't get along with many people."

"Yeah, but I think Spencer had his younger brother attack this guy," Michael said, "or at least that's how it looked. He charged David Vickers with assault, but he dropped the charges almost immediately. Almost like he'd been threatened or something."

"Interesting," Paige said, clearly struggling to maintain her composure.

"That was a little bit before Snyder operated drunk on my dad and killed him," Michael said, his anger starting to show through, not so much at Paige, but at the situation in general.

"I don't know anything about that," she said defensively.

"Well I guess you wouldn't," Michael nodded, "you were brought in that night with an overdose of stolen prescription meds."

"What?" she asked sounding confused.

"I have a nurse who says she worked on you that night," Michael said, "don't deny it."

"I'm not denying it," she said sounding dazed, "I just don't remember. I don't remember a whole lot from back then."

_

* * *

He fought against the sluggishness in his brain. He needed to finish this conversation he needed to make her understand. "Caitlyn," he said, "if you came to bring me with you. I can't go. I'm sorry, but I can't. I have people who need me. Natalie needs me, we-"_

"_Shh," Caitlyn said bringing a finger to his lips, "don't jump to conclusions."_

"_But you said-"_

"_I had something to do here." She turned a sad gaze to him and said, "You misunderstood. I didn't come here for you. I came here for her."_

To be continued.


	15. Chapter 15

Natalie cursed out loud at the third stoplight that turned red as she approached. Whatever it was Evangeline had found out she refused to discuss it over the phone, but Natalie could tell from her voice it was serious. Rex had offered to follow her with Adriana and David, assuming he could be corralled into the car. She couldn't see them yet in her rearview so it was probably taking some time. If there hadn't been a car in front of her she might have seriously considered running the light; instead she tapped the steering wheel impatiently.

"Natalie."

She heard his voice just over her shoulder. As if he were sitting in the seat just behind her. She actually turned to see if he was there even though she knew it was impossible. Just as she was deciding it had been her imagination, her desperation to hear John's voice again twisting things in her brain she heard it again.

"Natalie!"

This time it was clearer. Either that or she was able to hear it better now that she was expecting it. There was an urgency to the tone—something akin to fear. Anyone else would have told her she was crazy and maybe she was, but all that mattered to her in that instant was that John was calling her. John was in trouble and he needed her. As the light turned green she pulled into the turn lane, changing her direction to the hospital. Whatever it was Evangeline had to say would wait.

* * *

Michael walked into the Llanview Police Department to see Evangeline standing anxiously outside of Bo's office. Layla stood at her side her face puffy from tears, staring at the ground. "What's going on?" he asked. He'd left Paige without getting many answers from her and he didn't know when he'd manage to corner her again. Whatever this was it had better be good. 

"I thought it was better that she talk directly to the police," Evangeline said, "but I also thought you all deserved to know so we might as well tell you all at once."

Michael turned a suddenly angry look towards Layla. "This is about what happened to my brother? You _were_ involved. What did you do?"

"Michael take it easy," Evangeline said raising a hand.

"Take it easy?" he asked incredulous, "my brother's still in critical condition if she-"

Bo's office door opened at that moment and an officer walked out. "Okay," Bo said looking between Michael, Evangeline, and Layla, "what is this all about?"

"Can we talk in your office please?" Evangeline requested.

Bo nodded and stepped to the side to let them enter. Evangeline hesitated and looked around, "Natalie's supposed to be meeting us here as well."

"She's not here yet?" Rex asked as he approached with Adriana and a reluctant yet curious David Vickers. "She left before we did, she should have been here by now."

"Maybe she took a different route and got caught in traffic?" Adriana suggested.

"Hold on," Rex said pulling out his cell phone and dialing her number. He held it to his ear a moment and said, "She's not answering."

"Did she say anything about stopping anywhere on her way?" Evangeline asked.

"No," Rex said, "she was pretty anxious to get over here. I shouldn't have let her drive-- she's so stressed out about this she-"

"I'm sure she's all right, Rex," Adriana said, "if she'd been in an accident we would have passed her on the way over here."

"Well why don't we go ahead and get started and hopefully she'll be here in a minute," Bo suggested with a frown. While he was concerned about Natalie's disappearance he was also anxious to find out what all this was about. Hoping that since she'd only been missing a few minutes as best as he could tell that there was no cause for concern yet he ushered the rest of the group into his office.

"Okay," he said, "why do I get the feeling that all of you are involved in something you should have told me about earlier?"

* * *

Spencer Truman sat at his desk deep in thought. Nothing had been quite going to plan of late and that frustrated him, but he tried not to let himself be hampered by that frustration. 

The officer posted at his door made finishing off Lieutenant McBain impossible for the time being, but at the very least he showed no signs of awakening and even if he did there was little chance he could identify him. But he would probably remember the information he had uncovered that had forced Spencer to mastermind his suicide attempt in the first place. He also might be able to finger the Williamson girl—involving her in this had clearly been a mistake. She didn't have the stomach for this sort of thing and would probably confess everything at the slightest prompting. She would have to be eliminated before that could happen.

Then there was Natalie Buchanan and the baby that she was carrying. Practically an early Christmas gift, but how best to use it? Any harm visited upon that child would hurt both John McBain and Asa Buchanan, but only if they both knew of its existence and at this point he couldn't be sure of either. So biding his time until McBain awakened seemed his only choice, but dared he risk what McBain might remember about his "accident"?

The sound of his door opening pulled him out of his contemplation. Paige stood before him suddenly, her lower lip quivering with anger or fear. "They know," she said.

"Who are you talking about and what do they know?" he asked irritably.

"Michael McBain was just in my office," she said, "you know that cop whose death you pinned on Snyder was his father."

"Of course I knew that," he said, "just because you were too squeamish to want to know the identity of the man you killed-"

"But I didn't, did I?" she asked.

"What are you talking about now?" he groaned.

"I never remembered what happened that night," she said, "I woke up feeling sicker than I ever had and you told me that I had made a mistake in the OR the night before and that a patient had died. A patient that happened to be the cop who had been investigating us and who was conveniently shot in an armed robbery attempt that night. You told me how bad it would look if the truth came out but that you had covered things up and made Snyder look responsible to save my career. And I was grateful." She laughed bitterly. "I was actually grateful. I had no idea you'd hold it over my head for the rest of my life. If I'd known I would have confessed right then."

"Don't be foolish," Spencer said with a smile, "if you'd done that you wouldn't have your career, your relationship with Bo-"

"And I wouldn't have to worry about losing them now," she said. "But it was all a lie anyway, wasn't it?"

"There have been a lot of lies Paige, you'll have to be more specific," he said.

"One of the nurses that you said was in the room with Thomas McBain told Natalie Buchanan that I overdosed that night. I wasn't ever in that OR, was I?"

"No you weren't," he admitted, his smile not faltering, "but good luck proving that now."

She shook her head, "But there's no evidence I _was_ in there. You told me you took care of it all."

"I know what I told you," he said, "but who's to say that there isn't evidence that _you_ framed Snyder and had him killed to cover your mistake."

Paige scowled at him, "How did I ever not see what a monster you are?"

"Well if it's any comfort," he said, "your judgment was clouded by one substance or another most of the time we were together."

"The truth is going to come out," she said, "you made a mistake when you tried to get rid of John McBain. Michael, Natalie, Rex Balsom… they're all looking and they're close. They'll put the pieces together."

"And then you and David will go down right along with me," he said mockingly.

"At least I'll have the satisfaction of watching your life destroyed the way you've destroyed so many," she said as she turned and walked swiftly from his office.

Spencer dropped the smile as soon as she was gone. He hadn't anticipated anyone but Lieutenant McBain managing to piece it all together. 'Well,' he thought as he rose to his feet, 'it appears waiting to act is no longer an option.'

_

* * *

"What do you mean, 'her'?" he demanded. "You mean… Natalie?" _

_Caitlyn nodded slowly. "I'm here because of you, John, but she's the one I'm actually here for." _

_"No!" he insisted, "you can't have her! Caitlyn you can't. Not her. Take me instead. I don't want to leave her and the baby but if it comes down to it I'd rather-"_

_"John," she said her voice still tranquil and steady, "calm down, you can't afford to overexcite yourself now." _

_"How am I supposed to stay calm when you just told me-?"_

_"Still my same old John," she said with a smile, "so passionate and quick to act, but you didn't let me finish."_

_"What more could you-?"_

_"I know how much you love her, John," she said, "I know you couldn't survive losing her. That's why I came. I would never take her from you."_

_"Then what did you mean when you said-?"_

_"I didn't come here to take her," she said, "I came here to save her."_

* * *

"Well I feel bad saying this since she's not here to defend herself," Rex said, "but it was Natalie's idea." 

"It usually is," Bo groaned, "am I correct in assuming this has something to do with John's suicide attempt?"

"We're now pretty certain it _wasn't _a suicide attempt," Rex said.

"And the reason nobody came to me with this was-?"

"Natalie tried," Michael interjected, "but you were so convinced John did this to himself… you know maybe the better question is why didn't you come to the same conclusion yourself?" Michael realized immediately that speaking to the police commissioner that way might not have been a very good idea, but his concern for his brother outweighed his common sense for a moment.

"Well as a matter of fact I had an officer working on the case, Michael," Bo said, "and it's possible that if you all had shared the information you gathered with him we might have solved this case by now."

"We might _have_ solved it now," Evangeline said, "at least in part."

"I'm listening," Bo said crossing his arms on his chest and leaning back on his desk.

Evangeline took a deep breath and squeezed Layla's hand. "Michael discovered the day John was shot that my home number was on the caller ID of John's cell phone with a phone call made at approximately 2am. I didn't make the phone call so at first I thought someone must have tampered with John's cell, but after talking with Layla I now know the source of the call."

"You made the call?" Bo asked Layla.

Layla nodded mutely.

"Why?" he asked. Layla dabbed her eyes with an already soggy tissue but didn't answer immediately. "Layla?" Bo prodded.

"You need to tell him," Evangeline said, rubbing a hand on her back.

"All I did was make a phone call," she said, "I swear I didn't know what was going to happen."

"Then why did you make the call?" Bo asked.

"Because he made me," she sniffed.

"Who made you?"

She looked around nervously before saying softly, "Spencer Truman."

Michael shook his head in disbelief. The evidence against Truman had been mounting steadily over the past day, but he still hoped his mentor would prove uninvolved. Bo shifted, leaning forwards interestedly.

"And why _did_ you think you were making the phone call?"

"I didn't ask," she said, "he told me not to ask."

"Okay," Bo said patiently, "what did you say to John when you called him?"

"I told him that Vange was in trouble," she said, "he said John wouldn't be able to resist a woman in distress. So I told him that someone had her held hostage down at the docks and I guess he went down to check it out."

"And that's when he was shot," Michael said, his anger growing by the minute as he realized that John had nearly been killed out of a misguided attempt to save someone.

"And _why_ did you do what Truman asked you too?" he asked.

Layla hesitated again and Evangeline looked at her. "Remember what we talked about?" she said, "It's going to come out so it's better if you own up to it now."

"When I first started at BE Spencer paid me $5000 to photocopy a report for him. I had no idea what it was or why he cared so much but I needed the money so I agreed. I figured how much damage could a couple of photocopies do. I did it twice more after that for him and it was only after that that I realized all these documents had to do with some big corporate take over they were planning and that Spencer was distributing those reports to mess it all up. Once I realized it I told him I wanted out but he said it wasn't that simple. Ever since he's been blackmailing me and threatening to tell my bosses what I did. I'd lose my job, possibly go to jail… Then he told me to make that phone call and I thought 'what the hell, it's just a phone call.'… I swear if I had any idea…"

"So what you're telling us is that Spencer Truman masterminded John's apparent suicide attempt?" Bo asked incredulously.

"I think so," Layla said her voice cracking.

"Why?"

"I don't know," she said.

"I… might be able to shed a little light on that," David said stepping forward.

"I'm listening," Bo said.

"I suspect that Lieutenant McBain might have uncovered some information about a couple of crimes that Spencer committed a while back," David said.

"What crimes?" he asked.

David smiled nervously. "That's as much as I'm going to say unless I'm guaranteed immunity for any involvement I might have had in said crimes."

"What the-!" Michael exclaimed.

Bo stilled him with a raised hand, "Vickers I don't have the time or patience for this."

"Well you're gonna have to find it," he said, "because I'm not talking otherwise."

"I can't begin to make deals at this point," Bo said, "I don't even know what crimes we're talking about."

"I can implicate Spencer in the attempted murder of John McBain as well as two other murders," David said, "and by the way Commissioner, with all due respect, I know you can't make a deal for immunity, so you might want to see about getting a DA in here."

Bo gave David a surly look but stepped opened his office door anyway and called out, "Can somebody find ADA Hughes for me?"

"I'm gonna try Nattie again," Rex said softly to Adriana stepping just outside of the office.

* * *

Natalie rushed into the hospital breathlessly. Heedless of the strange looks from the nurses and an orderly calling for her to slow down she ran towards John's room. She was nearly there when Spencer Truman suddenly appeared in front of her, blocking her path. 

"Ms. Buchanan," he said with a gentle smile, "I've been looking for you."

"Dr. Truman!" she gasped. She was virtually certain this man had something to do with Thomas McBain's death and probably with the attempts on John's life. He might very well have something to do with whatever danger John was in now, but she couldn't afford to let him know she was aware of his involvement.

"I take it from your expression you've heard about Lieutenant McBain," he said.

"Heard what?" she asked trying not to let her fear show too clearly.

"He suffered a minor setback," he said.

"What did you do to him?" she demanded before she could stop herself.

"Saved his life in all likelihood," he said sounding offended at her implication.

"I want to see him," she said.

He nodded. "Of course. We had to take him downstairs for some tests but there's no reason you can't sit with him while we run them. Come with me."

He reached for her hand but she pulled it away. Motioning for her to follow him instead he led her towards the back stairway.

To be continued.


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's note:** I can't thank you guys enough for your support and patience on this story. Almost done! Is this all a little too deus ex machine? Should I stop pointing out the flaws in my own story? Yes… starting on next chapter…

* * *

Rex tapped his foot impatiently as he closed his phone after getting Natalie's voicemail again. He realized Natalie hadn't been missing for long, but he also knew that it didn't make sense for her to disappear now when they were finally making progress in their investigation. Trying not to fidget too much he watched the discussion taking place. 

"I was fourteen when I moved in with my brother," David was saying, "naïve, eager to please. He got married right after I moved in to an intern from the hospital where he was a resident. It became apparent very quickly that all was not well in the Truman household. Paige… had a problem with controlled substances. I don't know where it started but it was very pronounced by the time she moved in. Alcohol mostly but I think there were pills from time to time. There were other things that didn't make sense until later—strangers that Spencer called colleagues though they didn't look like doctors to me. Hushed arguments he and Paige had from time to time. Then Spencer came to me one day and asked if I would like to help."

"Help what?" Bo asked.

"Don't interrupt," he scolded, "He told me that this guy Snyder was after him. That if he had his way we would all lose everything. Because I'm such a sensitive soul I couldn't bear the thought of harm coming to a brother I loved so much, so I agreed to help. That's when Spencer gave me a baseball bat and instructions on where I could find this guy alone."

"So it wasn't a mugging," Rex said, "you really did assault him."

"Yes," David admitted, "with some help. One of the football players from school who I'd managed to get some embarrassing information about. It wasn't until later that Paige told me, during one of her binges when Spencer was out, that she and Spencer and some of their colleagues had a nice side business selling pharmaceuticals from the hospital supply closet. I don't know if this guy Snyder had been involved or if he just found out about it, but he was threatening to go to the police. Me and the Louisville slugger were supposed to convince him otherwise."

"Apparently it worked," Bo said, "There's no record or any police investigation against Spencer."

"Well if there's no record of the investigation that's because Spencer took care of the records," he said, "because there _was_ an investigation. I think Spencer was paying off some of the AC PD, but apparently not all of them were interested in his money. One cop in particular managed to gather a little too much evidence against them, but he was mysteriously shot before he could get enough to file charges."

"My dad," Michael said stunned.

David nodded, "I think so. But you have to believe me when I tell you I didn't know that till today and if you could please make sure you tell your brother that when he wakes up-"

"Vickers!" Bo said impatiently.

"Anyway," he said turning back to Bo and Hugh who were busily taking notes, "Paige suspected immediately that Spencer was responsible for the shooting and I guess that was a little too much for her to handle because at that point she threatened to go to the police, but Spencer stopped her by informing her she was just as responsible for that cop's death as he was. Apparently she'd worked on him in the ER that night while under the influence of Spencer knows what and botched the surgery. Or so he said. She didn't seem to remember much of that night, but that wasn't all that unusual back then."

"That's why she seemed so surprised when I told her she'd overdosed," Michael said, "she didn't remember."

"And it would seem that Spencer fudged the details," David continued, "According to his version, he covered up her mistake, devoted husband that he was, and framed Snyder for it."

"Killing two birds with one stone," Rex said, "he discredits Snyder and gains leverage on Paige."

"The killing didn't come till later," David said, "Snyder'd lost his career and didn't have much else to lose so he went back to threatening to tell. So Spencer had me make a phone call one night. I told Snyder that I was scared of Spencer, that I wanted out of his little operation but needed help getting away from him. He agreed to meet me in an empty alley."

"Where he was found dead the next morning," Michael said.

"I didn't know that was going to happen," David insisted, "but then afterwards Spencer explained to me in his charming way that I was officially an accomplice and he'd make sure my involvement was known if I ever said anything. I moved out not too long after, kinda hoped to never see him again. Clearly those hopes were dashed a few months ago."

"And you think John found out about all this?" Evangeline asked.

"He _was _looking into our father's murder," Michael said.

"And Truman was still free to repeat history," Bo said. Turning to Hugh he asked, "Well what do you think?"

"You definitely have enough to bring him in for questioning," he said, "probably for an arrest, but it's going to make it hard for the charges to stick if all we have is _their_ word." He indicated Layla and David.

"Hey guys," Rex said, interrupting, "Not to change the subject, but Nattie's still not picking up her phone and I'm really starting to worry."

"Could she have gone by to see John?" Michael asked, "She wouldn't be able to use her phone in his room with all the machines."

"Maybe," Rex said sounding as though his worries hadn't been eased at all.

"Well I need to head over to the hospital to chat with Truman," Bo said as he rose to his feet and grabbed his jacket, "we can look for her while we're at it. And later," he gave Rex and Michael a stern look, "you two and Natalie can explain to me why you thought it was a good idea to conduct this investigation without talking to me."

* * *

Natalie tried not to let her panic show as she raced down the stairs after Dr. Truman. John had called out to her and she arrived to discover he had evidently suffered some sort of set back. Her gut told her that Truman was likely to blame for the set back, but at this point accusing him could interfere with John's treatment, so she kept her mouth shut. Truman's concern for John had to be an act, but why was he bothering? She struggled to keep her worry fro John from clouding her perception of anything suspicious Truman did… 

She realized suddenly that they were in an empty basement corridor that seemed to contain only labs and offices. Why would they have taken John down there? "Where are we going?" she asked as soon as the thought occurred to her.

Truman took about ten more steps down the hall then paused and wordlessly turned to face her.

"What's going on?" she demanded, "Where's John?"

"Upstairs in his room," he replied opening the door beside him, "now if you'll please step inside-"

Realizing that in her panic over John she'd stepped into a trap Natalie turned to run but an arm circled around her chest as Truman pulled her back against him. With his free hand Truman held a syringe in front of her face as he murmured in her ear, "I wouldn't advise struggling further. Now if you would please…"

Natalie allowed herself to be pulled backwards into the room which appeared to be a small laboratory. Once he'd closed the door and locked it behind them he shifted his grip to her arm and spun her out so she could face him.

"What's in the needle?" she asked not taking her eyes off of it.

"A virus," he said calmly, "a rare tropical one almost unheard of in Pennsylvania, but the Buchanans seem to have some sort of genetic predisposition to it—your brother Kevin contracted it not too long ago."

"That was you?" she asked as it began to dawn on her that Truman was behind more than just what had happened to John.

"Yes," he smirked, "that was me."

"I don't understand," she said, trying to keep him talking in the hopes he would reveal something else, "Why would you want to kill Kevin?"

"No," he said in a patronizing tone, "if I had wanted Kevin dead he would be. It's a virulent strain, but not one an otherwise healthy adult can't survive without treatment. Of course, it can have unfortunate side effects. Your brother's sterility, for example. And one must wonder what it would do to your unborn child." Looking at Natalie's startled expression he said, "Yes, I know that you're pregnant and I know that John McBain is the father. Imagine my delight in discovering something that could give me leverage over both Lieutenant McBain _and_ Asa Buchanan."

"Asa?" she asked in genuine confusion, "What does my grandfather have to do with this?"

"Your grandfather, my father," he said.

"Really?" Natalie asked dubiously.

"You aren't denying it," he said, "I'm surprised but I appreciate that."

"Well how do I know who Asa slept with fifty years ago?" she shrugged, "but if you want people to be impressed you picked the wrong family. The long lost child thing is a bit overdone with this one."

"Yes," he smiled, "you _would_ know about that, wouldn't you?"

"I do," she nodded, "though I'll confess to being somewhat amazed that the actions of a world renowned surgeon in his fifties so closely mirror those of a twenty-one year old college student."

"You fail to see the depth of my plan," he said, "but no matter. I'm not really interested in your opinion."

"So why do you want John dead?" she asked, "or are you going to try to pretend you _meant_ to leave him alive?"

"No, Lieutenant McBain was supposed to die," he said, "but I failed to properly estimate the thickness of his skull or the response time of the Llanview emergency services. An error on my part, I'll admit, but even if he does recover I don't think he'll be a problem in the future. He has some information he needs to forget, but I suspect he'll be willing to now. He won't risk causing harm to his child or leaving behind a fatherless child the way his father did in pursuit of a mere drug trafficking case."

"That's a good plan," Natalie nodded, "but you made another miscalculation."

"And what's that?" he asked, clearly not believing her.

"Your leverage doesn't exist," she said, "I'm not really pregnant."

_

* * *

Caitlyn leaned forward and kissed John on the forehead then whispered something in his ear that made no sense. As he pulled back and gave her a quizzical look she smiled at him sadly one last time as her image began to blur. "Wait!" he called but he suspected she didn't hear. _

_Everything around him began to fade and he felt suddenly as though he were falling. Then he hit the ground with a jolt._

There were voices. People in his room. Worried about something or someone.

* * *

Michael opened the door to John's room but found his mother sitting next to the bed, not Natalie. "Michael?" she asked seeing the worried expression on his face, "Is something wrong?" 

"Not sure," he said, "have you seen Natalie?"

"No," she said, "not for a while."

"I did," Marcie said approaching Michael from behind.

"You saw her?" Michael asked, "When?"

"Just a little bit ago," she said, "I don't know, half and hour tops. She was walking down the hall with Dr. Truman. She looked really upset about something."

"Did you find her?" Rex asked as he joined them.

"Marcie saw her with Truman," he said.

Rex cursed.

"What's going on?" Eve asked.

"I can't find Truman anywhere," Bo said as he joined them. Michael and Marcie stepped into the room so that they wouldn't all be crammed in the doorway. "He's not in his office, he's not in the OR. Any idea where he would have gone?"

"No," Michael said, "but Natalie's with him."

"What?" Bo asked, "Why?"

"We don't know," Rex said.

"But Marcie saw them together," Michael explained.

"Where were they headed?" Bo asked, "Did it look like they were leaving the hospital?"

"No," Marcie said pointing down the hall, "they were going that way."

"There are stairs down there," Bo said, "great. They could be anywhere."

"Did Natalie look okay?" Rex asked.

"She looked worried," Marcie explained, "at first I assumed maybe something had happened to John so I came down here but everything seemed to be okay. What's going on? Why are you looking for Dr. Truman?"

"We'll explain later," Bo said as he pulled out his radio, "I need back up down here at Llanview hospital to search the premises for Dr. Spencer Truman."

"Bo?" Paige asked as she appeared behind him in the doorway, "what's going on?"

"We need to talk," Bo said, "but I need to find Truman first, do you know where he is?"

"No," Paige said shaking her head.

"We believe he's still in the hospital-"

"Hey guys," Michael said glancing back and John's monitors which were showing increased activity, "maybe we should move this discussion out of the comatose patient's room."

Bo nodded in agreement as they began to process slowly out of John's room.

"B12," a hoarse voice said behind them.

Everyone jumped and turned to look, startled as John's eyes fluttered open. "John!" Eve said rushing to his side, "You're awake!"

John took a moment to scan the crowd in his room before mumbling, "Natalie. Where's Natalie?"

Bo, Rex, and Michael looked among themselves nervously, no one wanting to tell the injured man that they didn't know where Natalie was and that she might very well be in danger. Finally Bo said, looking calmly at John, "We aren't sure."

"B12," he repeated.

"You said that right as you woke up," Eve said, "what does that mean?"

"I don't know," John said, fighting the sluggish feeling in his mouth, "Caitlyn said it right before she left."

"Um… Johnny," Michael said, "what are you talking about?"

"Caitlyn…" John said, aware he was probably making no sense to anyone but unable to find the words to explain, "She was here. She said Natalie was in trouble and then she said 'B12'."

"B12," Bo repeated, "what is that? Besides a type of plane."

"Could it be a room number?" Rex asked as his mind raced to uncover the meaning.

"That would be in the basement," Michael said.

"Spencer has a lab down there," Paige said, her eyes widening.

Without waiting to respond Bo started down the hallway as he called into his radio for back up to meet him in the basement. Rex followed at his heels. John tried to sit up but found he could only summon the strength to half roll onto his side. He tried again, grunting with the effort. "Johnny," Michael said walking to his side and putting his hands on his shoulders, "calm down."

"I have to go," John argued weakly, "I have to find her."

"Bo and Rex will find her," Michael said firmly, "she's gonna be okay. But you're not if you don't lie back. You just woke up after three and a half days in a coma after being shot in the head. You have a fractured skull, okay? You're not in any condition to go anywhere right now."

John collapsed back against the pillows. It wasn't really out of any agreement with Michael, but he couldn't force his muscles to function any longer.

* * *

"Nice try," Spencer said calmly, "but hardly believable. I overheard your tearful admission at Lieutenant McBain's bedside." 

"You overheard me because I said it loudly with the door open," Natalie explained, "Did it not occur to you I wanted to be overheard?"

"And why would you make up something like that?"

"Because you're not the first sociopath to go after John," she said, "And you're not the first to try to get to him through those close to him. After that medication error, which I can only assume you were responsible for, I decided I needed something to tempt whoever was after him away from attacking John himself. I figured if I'm an attractive target normally me and John's baby would be irresistible, and look, I was right."

Spencer studied her face carefully. "You're good, Natalie. I'll be honest I can't say for certain whether you were lying then or you're lying now. Of course it would be simple enough to take a sample of your blood and run a pregnancy test, but time is a factor. Judging from the conversation I had with my ex-wife a short time ago you've been asking a few too many questions and getting far too many answers. Depending on who you've talked to I might have to make my exit very quickly. I could always take you with me I suppose-"

"Except I'm not likely to go along quietly," she pointed out.

"Oh I think you will," he said brandishing the syringe once more, "pregnant or not you will only survive this virus if you get treatment. If I leave you locked in here it's very unlikely anyone would find you in time. It's not a pleasant disease—it would be a very painful and lonely way to die. And what's to stop me from heading upstairs afterwards and slipping a little into Lieutenant McBain's IV? In his weakened condition do you really think he could survive it?"

"Fine," she said, trembling with a mixture of fear and hatred, "I'll go with you. Do whatever you want with me, just leave John alone."

Spencer pulled her closer and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "Good girl," he said, "This is what we're going to do--We're going to walk just like this out through the loading dock. If you try to scream or get away or signal to anyone this syringe will be in your arm in an instant. Understand?"

Natalie nodded mutely.

To be continued.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimers:** See chapter 1 or anything else I've written here.

**Author's note:** I can't thank you guys enough for sticking through me on this one. Judging by responses and hits on this site this has been my most popular chaptered story, and while I don't understand it, I thank you all for that.

I learned some valuable lessons on this story. Like I shouldn't write mysteries. Not if I want to stay sane. Not to start posting until I have a rough plot outline. Not to write a Jolie story where the characters don't _really_ share a scene for 16 chapters—it only builds expectations a little too high for when they finally get one. I'm telling you now said scene is in this chapter. Please lower your expectations now. Okay, I feel slightly less terrified.

That wasn't me fishing, just me being unsatisfied with the end of this story (I _hate_ writing endings).

* * *

Spencer looked anxiously around the lab as if he were trying to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything. Just as he roughly jerked Natalie toward the door the handle rattled. When whoever it was found the door locked they began banging and Bo's voice bellowed, "Truman, we know you're in there. Open the door!" 

Startled at the unexpected interruption, Spencer dropped his guard for a moment which was all Natalie needed to twist free of his grasp. Recovering slightly he lunged at her as Natalie grabbed hold of the arm holding the syringe and jammed it as hard as she could against his chest. The needle penetrated the skin and before he had a chance to remove it Natalie hit the plunger with the palm of her hand, pushing it all the way in.

Spencer stared at her wide eyed and staggered backwards a step as someone kicked the door open and Bo and Rex burst in. Raising his gun Bo said, "Spencer Truman, you are under arrest for the murders of Thomas McBain and one Dr. Snyder as well as the attempted murder of John McBain." Without lowering his weapon Bo handed his handcuffs to Rex and motioned in Spencer's direction with his head.

Still stunned Spencer did not resist as Rex jerked his hands behind his back and closed the cuffs around them. It was only after they were latched that he managed to stammer, "Wait. You need to take me upstairs. I need immediate medical attention."

"Yeah right," Rex said, but Bo noticed for the first time the syringe still sticking out of his lab coat.

"What was that?" he asked Natalie.

"He said it was a virus," she said, her heart still pounding, "the same one he gave Kevin at New Year's."

"That was you?" Bo asked.

"There really isn't time for this," Spencer said as beads of sweat formed on his face.

"I guess you never planned on contracting it yourself," Bo said smiling at him.

Spencer swayed and fell to his knees. "Please, I need…"

Looking over his fallen form Rex made eye contact with Natalie. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she said. "He threatened me, but that was all. I'm fine."

He nodded, "There's someone upstairs who wants to see you."

She looked at him blankly for a moment before it occurred to her, "John?"

He nodded. "He woke up a little while ago. He's the one who led us to you actually."

"What?" she asked.

"I'll explain later," he said, "after I understand it myself."

Natalie turned a questioning look to her uncle, "Can I…?"

"Go," Bo told her with a paternal smile, "you can make your statement later."

"Thank you," she said as she sprinted to the stairs.

* * *

She opened the door to his room to find John's mother and brother hovering around his bed. John saw her first and the others turned, following his gaze. "They said you wanted to see me," she said, fighting back the tears which had sprung to her eyes. 

Michael snorted. "We practically had to sedate him to keep him from going after you himself." Sobering a little he said, "So they found you?"

"Yeah," she said, "I'm fine."

"And Truman?"

"In custody," she said, "well sort of."

"You know what?" Michael said starting toward the door, "I'll let them fill me in."

Taking his hint Eve stood up and said, "I'll leave you two alone. I know you have a lot to talk about."

Even after she left Natalie stood by the door unable to move foreword.

"You okay?" John asked groggily.

"Am _I_ okay?" she asked with a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. You have no idea how good it feels to see those blue eyes looking back at me finally."

"Yeah, I do," he said, "I've been on the other side of this, remember?"

"Yeah, I guess that's true," she said moving towards him. "Why does it always take one of us almost dying before the other one can admit how they feel about them?"

"I don't know," he said.

"Are _you_ okay?" she asked making her way to his bedside. "I heard your voice. You called me. You sounded afraid that's why I rushed over here and then Truman told me that you-"

"Not for myself," he said. "I wasn't scared for me. She said you were in trouble and I… I guess I was trying to warn you. I didn't mean to call you here… I led you right to Truman."

"No," she said squeezing his hand, "no you didn't. He just happened to find me. And it doesn't matter anyway, I'm fine. And you're going to be fine. Although your hairstyle may never recover," she said playfully. "I don't know if you've seen yourself--most of the right side of your head had to be shaved."

"I'll live with it," he said with a weak smile.

"Living being the key word," Natalie said tenderly. Hesitating she continued, "You said 'she', John, who were you talking about?"

"Caitlyn," he said, "she was here. Or where ever I was. She told me where to find you. It sounds crazy, I know-"

"Most things with us are," she said lifting his hand to her lips, "so much has happened in the last couple days... but we can talk about all of that later. I don't want you wearing yourself out."

"You shouldn't either," he said.

"Oh believe me when I tell you that seeing you awake gives me more than enough energy," she said with a tearful smile.

"Natalie," he said softly, "I know."

"Know what?" she asked.

"About the baby," he said.

"Oh no," she said the smile fading from her face, "you heard. I should have thought about that, I mean they told me you could hear, but-"

"Natalie, it's okay," he interjected.

"No," she said, "You don't understand-"

"Look I know that it's not an ideal situation," he said, "but this baby-"

"John there _is_ no baby," she finally managed to interject.

"What?" he asked looking at her blankly.

"I'm not really pregnant," she said, "we made that up to draw attention away from you and onto me."

"You what?" he asked starting to raise his voice.

"Calm down," she said sternly, "I promise you can yell at me as much as you want later, but please don't send yourself back into a coma because you're pissed at me for trying to save your life."

"I'm not…" he looked at her, "are you sure?"

"Yeah John," she said with a small laugh, "I'm sure. It's been a couple months since we… I think I'd know by now." Seeing the stunned expression on his face she said, "You're disappointed."

"It's not that," he said, "it just doesn't make sense."

"I'm sorry," she said, "It was just one of my stupid schemes. But it worked, Truman believed it and-"

"No," he said, "you don't understand. I saw him."

"Truman?"

"Our son," he said.

"Our son?" she asked bewildered.

He stared at her trying to make sense out of his visions based on her revelation. "I saw you and our son but I wasn't there with you. I wanted to be, but I couldn't get to you."

"Well, maybe that's just what you needed to motivate you to come back to us," she said.

"I don't know," he said, staring off into space, still trying to grasp this, "I tried… but it didn't work. And when I saw Caitlyn I thought she was there to take me with her and I told her I couldn't leave you two… but I couldn't manage to wake myself up. Not until she told me that you were in danger and I needed to save you. But I talked to her about the baby, why didn't she tell me?"

"I don't know, John," she said shaking her head, "There isn't much of this that makes a whole lot of sense."

"I guess," he said looking away. It was strange how much grief he felt over the loss of something he'd never really had. He tried to hide it though, it wasn't her fault and he didn't want to upset her.

"You know John," Natalie said hesitantly, "just because I'm not pregnant now… it doesn't necessarily mean we _won't_ have a son."

"And I don't have to die now to wind up leaving you two alone," he said without looking at her.

"Like your father did," she said, understanding the heaviness behind his words.

"Truman was responsible for my father's death," he said turning back to her.

"It looks that way," she nodded.

"No, he was," he said, "one of the cops from the AC PD he was paying off admitted to it. I found that out the day before… I was just trying to get together a little more concrete evidence because I'm not exactly on good terms with them down at the station right now and I knew it had to be airtight."

"That's why Spencer tried to have you killed," she said.

"Layla Williamson called me," he said trying to piece it all together, "she said that Truman had Evangeline. Something about Todd I guess. I went down there, I had to…"

Natalie nodded, not thrilled with the idea of John running to his ex's rescue, but understanding his nature well enough to know it was unavoidable. "Spencer was blackmailing her. She confessed. And David filled in for us a lot of what happened back then."

John let his eyes close. "Maybe my dad can rest in peace now. Truman will go to jail."

"If he lives that long," she said.

His eyes shot open as he looked at her curiously. "He tried to inject me with a virus," she explained, "the same one Kevin had. But he wound up with the needle in his own chest."

"Thanks to you?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said, a little proud of herself.

"That's my girl," he said squeezing her hand. He looked at her carefully again; it seemed like so long since he'd seen her face. "Are you _sure_ you're not-?" he glanced down towards her stomach.

"Well I was five minutes ago," she said as she mentally tried to do some quick calendar math, "but you're kinda starting to freak me out."

"Sorry," he said.

"Looks like I'll be stopping by the drug store on my way home tonight," she sighed.

"Maybe you're right," he said, "maybe it was more of a hypothetical type thing."

"Maybe," she said.

Noticing she had gone quiet after a moment he asked, "What are you thinking about?"

"Truman," she said, "when he had me downstairs… he wanted to use the baby as leverage to keep you quiet. And to make me behave—he told me the virus would probably kill the baby. I told him there _was_ no baby and it kinda threw him. He wasn't sure whether to believe me but… we fought. It didn't last long, but if I'd thought I was really pregnant I don't know if I would have been so aggressive. If I would have fought as hard… I just…I don't know I- "

"Shh," he said gently, "we don't have to work through all of this tonight."

"No we don't," she said with a smile of relief, "we have time. Which is a pretty amazing gift."

"Yeah it is," he said reaching up to brush her face with his fingertips, "it's good to be back."

"I just want to make one thing clear though," she said taking on a stern tone all of a sudden, "if we do have children. Whether it's sooner or later, you better not leave me alone to raise them."

"That's the last thing I'd ever want to do," he said.

"So no more gunshots and no more comas, okay?"

"I'll make you a deal," he said, "I'll stay away from the near death experiences if you will."

"Deal," she said kissing his hand again. He tugged on her hands, bringing her closer. Natalie rose from the chair, leaning forward until her face was hovering inches away from his. Tenderly, still in wonder that he had this opportunity, John circled his hand around her head and pulled her lips to his own. As the kiss deepened Natalie relaxed, letting her weight rest on his chest and they became lost in each other, unaware of the passage of time until the sound of someone clearing his throat brought them back to the outside world.

"Sorry to interrupt," Bo said with a smile as Natalie pulled away guiltily, "I just thought you both should know that Truman's being treated a couple rooms down. We have guards on him, but I doubt they'll be needed. He's not going anywhere for a while. They think he'll recover enough to stand trial though, so once you get the case together…"

"Thanks," John said hoarsely.

"And I don't want to be a party pooper-" Michael said sticking his head in behind Bo.

"So don't," his brother mumbled.

"-but he really does need his rest."

"I was asleep for three days!" John protested.

"Listen to your brother," Natalie scolded him, "he's right. I don't want to wear you out."

"Not to mention _she_ hasn't slept in three days," Michael added.

John frowned at her, "You should sleep."

She nodded as she stood up, "I think I finally can, knowing you're okay. After I stop and pick up… you know what we were talking about."

"Okay," he murmured.

"I'll be back first thing in the morning though," she said, fingering his hair, "if not sooner."

"Give me a call if you… you know, if you find anything out," he said.

She leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead, careful to avoid the bandages. "John, I don't think you can hold a phone to your ear, but if I find anything out I think I'll be telling you in person."

"What are you two talking about?" Michael asked.

"I told you," she said walking by him with a smile, "there are details of my relationship with your brother that I'm not going to share with you." With one last glance at John she said, "I'll see you soon. I love you."

"Me too," he said drowsily. It was only later, after they talked that he understood why she and Michael both flinched as he said those words, waiting for the monitors to go off.

Fin.

That means the end.

Finally!


End file.
